Hero Worship
by Natsu
Summary: Daisuke's life is far from perfect and wishing to exchange it for the life of his idol really did seem like a good idea at the time. But when you get it, is perfection really all it's cracked up to be? YAOI - Taito, Kensuke, Daito. **CH 6 NOW POSTED**
1. Wishing For Perfection

Hero Worship

~Natsu~

A/N: This is kind of an experimental piece. I'm not sure yet if I'm going to finish it or not…hmm…am very busy and do not technically have time for writing at the moment. But I've been writing anyway because it sure as hell beats French essays, don't you think? Let me know if you like it. Feedback is always appreciated. ^^

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Don't you totally hate how some evil fiend steals your mirror and replaces it with a picture of some horrifically rough looking person just to freak you out? So do I. That's my theory anyway. You know, to explain why what was reflected back at me as I stumbled blindly into the bathroom that morning was not the image of the rakishly handsome face that I've grown so accustomed to. I suppose I should have taken that shit-awful reflection as a sign. 

You know those days that are so awful that from the second you wake up, you can actually feel the absolute awfulness that life has on the agenda? It was one of those days. And normally I'm perceptive enough to know when they're coming – people don't think I am, but I can be perceptive thank you very much – but the thing was, this wasn't just any day. It never really occurs to you that you're going to have a completely crap day on your birthday now, does it? Of course not. So there I am, staring at the monster in the mirror and thinking 'Hey, it's all good', because it's my birthday and there's no way stuff can go wrong today because this is my day baby! Besides, it was a Friday and Fridays are always cool. 

Did I mention that my birthday is the thirteenth of April? 

Okay, now I'm not superstitious but I think I might actually start to take that whole 'Friday the thirteenth? Big no-no' rule seriously now. And if you have any sense, you'll trust me on this one and take it seriously too. Next time a Friday rolls around, make a big point of checking that it is most definitely not the thirteenth of the month. And if it is, don't leave the house. I repeat, do not leave the house. Just grab enough food for the day, barricade yourself in your room and ignore anyone who tries to tell you to come out. Believe me, I know what I'm talking about. Because that day was quite possibly the worst day that has ever been had by anyone anywhere in the history of the world. In the history of the Universe, even.

So yeah, I think I've established that it turned out to be a less than perfect day. But of course, I didn't realise this. It didn't even occur to me that things might not be quite so cool until I tried to take a shower. An easy feat, I hear you say. You'd think so, wouldn't you? Not only had our shower somehow become completely broken between yesterday afternoon and this morning (i.e. it refused to work at all and then decided to hit me with angry and sporadic blasts of water that were alternatively boiling hot and freezing cold), but I mistook Jun's shampoo for mine. Again. And consequently ended up smelling like strawberry cheesecake. Again. Which is ironic, because according to the label, Jun's shampoo is coconut flavour. As if that wasn't enough, not only did I get strawberry-cheesecake-coconut in my hair, I also got it in my eye. And they must add like, special pain-inducing chemicals or something because man did it hurt.

Anyway, if the shower was a mild annoyance, breakfast was a disaster. In our family, we normally open birthday presents in the morning as soon as everyone has finished eating. It's one of the few traditions we have. But did I find a proud, smiling family waiting for me and bearing gifts as I padded into the room, dressed, dry and ready to face the day? 

That would be a 'no'.

All I found was a cranky Jun hunched over a bowl of musli (she's on a diet) and a single envelope with my name hastily scribbled across the front. My sister looked up as I wandered into the room and shoved the envelope towards me with her free hand.

"That's from Mum and Dad," she informed me before returning to her breakfast.

"That's it?" I couldn't help asking. I know I've been taught to be grateful for what I get and all that, but birthdays are kind of special and it's usually customary to give your only son something cool. At least it is in our house. We make a big deal of birthdays.

"Just open it you ungrateful little twerp," Jun snapped. She's always going on about me being selfish and ungrateful and all that. "Oh…and happy birthday by the way," she added as a kindly afterthought, "You'll have to wait until the weekend for your present because I haven't had a chance to go buy anything yet."

Without much anticipation, I tore into the envelope and revealed a card with some kind of cartoon character on the front, might have been a dog, might have been a rat, who knows. There was a joke on it that I'm not even going to repeat. It was one of those ones that are so completely unfunny that you begin to think you've read it wrong or didn't understand the punch line. But then, I wasn't really paying attention to the punch line because I was so distracted by the grating sound of the electronic music that started to play as soon as I opened the card. 

I slammed it shut before I'd even read the message from my parents. 

Jun's head snapped up as soon as she heard the noise and gestured for me to hand her the card as she struggled to swallow her mouthful of musli. She had no idea how totally welcome to it she was. She read the front, then flipped the card open, still holding her spoon in one hand. She laughed her snorting little laugh and passed it back to me.

"That's cute," she said, still smiling to herself.

"It's dumb," I returned bluntly, I've always been one to speak my mind. "It doesn't make sense."

"Sure it does. Because that's that old pop song, isn't it?" Jun said as if it was a fact that everyone should know. I stared back blankly. "You know, that one that goes like, 'Where does my heart go when it's not found'," she demonstrated, singing the line of a (as far as I was concerned) completely non-existent song. "That one. You know."

"No. I don't."

"You must do. See because that's the joke isn't it?" She watched my face expectantly, waiting for me to get it. I hate when people look at me like that. Patiently waiting for poor dim Daisuke to catch on.

"It's dumb," I repeated blandly, rummaging in the cupboard for my Poptarts, "Where are Mum and Dad anyway?" Jun sighed like a long-suffering martyr.

"You know Dad's away on business, idiot. And Mum told you last night that she'd have to leave for work early this morning."

"But it's my birthday…where are the Poptarts?" Having pulled out half the contents of the cupboard, it was starting to become increasingly obvious that they were, in fact, not there. Jun appeared beside me and dumped her empty bowl in the sink.

"Do you know how full of calories those things are?" she replied.

"I don't care. And I didn't ask that anyway. I asked where they were."

"How would I know? You probably ate them all and forgot." 

"I didn't!"

"Well whatever. Here," Jun pushed her box of musli into my hand, "it's much healthier anyway. Better for you." She prodded my stomach as if to demonstrate some point about my weight and then flounced out of the room. Just because she's getting fat and I'm not. 

It may be healthier, but as it turned out, musli was definitely not better for me. I'm generally not a clumsy person. Being a soccer star and all, it's essential that I have good co-ordination. But I must have left it in bed or in the shower stinking of strawberry-cheesecake-coconut or something that morning because in the space of eating breakfast, I managed to tip half a bowl of musli down my favourite shirt and drop a glass of orange juice all over the kitchen floor.  

By the time I'd cleaned it all up and dug a crumpled, but clean shirt out of my drawer it was time to leave for school already and I was going to have to be running on nothing but half a bowl of powdery oats and raisins until lunchtime. But never mind. I could deal. The sun was shining, and my friends would be waiting outside to walk to school with me. Even if my family couldn't be bothered to get me a present, my friends would. Right?

Wrong.

I always walk to school with Takeru, Kari and Ken. It's like a rule of the world. And sometimes Taichi and Yamato walk with us too, depending on where Yamato spent the night. Whenever his Dad isn't there, he normally stays over with Taichi or Takeru. It's always cool when we they walk with us. Firstly because they are just the two most totally cool and fantastic people I know, and secondly because it pisses Jun off like nothing else. I sometimes wish I could tell her that Taichi and Yamato are a couple so she could just get over it, but then I'd probably only get a slap in the face and her screaming at me not to make up such stupid stories. Huh.

"Hi Dai!" Kari called, cheerily as ever, as I emerged from the doors of our apartment block. I smiled at her, happily noting that her brother and his boyfriend were gracing us with their presence. Taichi grinned and nodded a greeting, while Yamato smiled a languid smile that made my heart flutter as usual. I'll admit I had kind of a crush on him. Even if you could say nothing else good about my sister, you had to admit that she had good taste. Not especially original taste (I sometimes think that it must be one of the school rules that everybody has to lust after Ishida Yamato at some point in their academic career), but good nonetheless. And of course, it only goes to figure that Taichi manages to get what everybody can't have. So typical. So unfair. But I guess that that's just one more thing I admire about him.

"Hey, Happy Birthday Dai!" Takeru remembered to say, and I grinned back at him. 

"Yeah, Happy Birthday." Yamato acknowledged with another smile and I grinned even harder. Until I noticed the look on Kari's face that is.

"Birthday?" She asked, looking alarmed.

"Kari! You told me it was tomorrow!" Taichi cried suddenly, staring at his sister.

"I thought it was! Oh Dai, I'm so sorry! I didn't think it was today!"

"How could you not know it was today? He's been going on about it for weeks." Takeru said, looking confused.

"Even I knew it was today," Yamato added.

"I know but I just thought…I'm sorry Dai!" Kari threw her arms around me in a brief apologetic hug. Whenever she does anything even slightly wrong, Kari goes into apology overdrive. She can't stand the thought that she might have upset someone. 

"Yeah me too. Happy Birthday, Daisuke. We'll have to do something really special tomorrow to make up for it." Taichi assured me, looking pissed that he forgot. 

"God, I feel awful Dai," Kari said, looking ready to die with guilt. Which naturally made me feel guilty for making her feel guilty. It's a vicious circle.

"It's really okay. Honest," I nudged her amiably with my elbow, starting to panic that she was going to start crying. I'm never sure what to do when that happens.

"Hey, can we go?" Yamato asked suddenly, "No offence Daisuke, but I'd appreciate it if we could leave before your sister comes out." He glanced anxiously back towards my building. Can you blame him?

We started the (ridiculously short) walk to school, Taichi and his sister engaged in a rare argument over whose fault forgetting my birthday was. It was the kind of argument that Kari would later vehemently refer to as 'just a heated discussion' and then tell me that I was 'silly' for thinking otherwise. It was only then I suddenly noticed that someone was missing.

"Hey TK, where's Ken?"

"Huh? Oh he had to go early," TK replied, strolling calmly between his brother and I, "He told us yesterday. Weren't you listening?"

"Guess not." I have a habit of doing that. Not listening when I should be. Which is perhaps why I missed what TK said about having to ask Kari something and found myself quite suddenly walking next to Yamato. On my own. Panic central. 

I don't care what anybody says about what you do when you like people. Being mean to them or whatever. All I do is panic. Lose it completely. I talk nonsense or forget to talk at all and turn red or make some random stupid face. So of course the second I noticed TK had gone my brain went into overdrive desperately trying to think of something to say to start a conversation. I've never been a believer in silence. Luckily, Yamato got there first before I could say something stupid. 

"Did you get anything good?" 

"What?" 

"Did you get anything good?" Yamato repeated with a patient smile. "For your birthday."

"Oh right. No." It came out blunter than I intended it to so I thought I'd better add something in explanation. You know, in case he just thought I wasn't happy with what I'd been given. Or something. "My parents aren't there," I said, hoping to sound tragic yet down to earth. 

"Huh. Been there," Yamato muttered, eyes darkening in a weird way, and I was worried that maybe I'd hit a sore spot. Smooth, Dai. But it was gone in a breezy toss of blonde hair and Yamato was looking at me again. "Well you know what? We should do something today. Lord knows I've missed out on enough fucking birthdays. I'll talk to young Taichi there and we'll see what we can do, yeah?" 

"Oh…you don't have to," I heard myself say way too politely, internally bubbling with excitement at just having an actual conversation with my idol's one-and-only. 

"Why not? It'll be cool. Everyone deserves a birthday party."

"Well…wow…thanks." Was all I could think of to say, alarmed at how my brain could turn to such utter mush at such a small exchange.  

"It's not a problem. I'll make Tai do it all," Yamato grinned at me and I felt like I was expected to reply.

"Yeah…um…well I mean…he might not want to or…" was what I managed to come up with.

"We can deal with that. I'll just have to make him 'want to', won't I?" Yamato favoured me with a private smile as we reached the school gates and he moved away from me to walk with Taichi, who was handing out obligatory greetings and charming smiles to fortunate members of the bustling stream of students. As soon as the words had left his lips, my mind was bombarded by images of what they meant. And with the added excitement-inducing prospect of a party later, it's lucky that TK was there for me to follow or I probably wouldn't have been able to remember the way to homeroom.

Well I guess it probably seems to you that it was in fact shaping up to be a pretty good day. Yeah, that's what I thought too. So, I smelled weird and looked weird and didn't get any presents. Yamato had remembered my birthday (probably only because TK had reminded him, but that's irrelevant in the grand scheme of things) and I was getting a party tonight. Pretty sweet, I thought. Key word there being 'thought'.

We made it to homeroom in plenty of time for the bell. I slid into my seat next to TK and began to pull books out of my bag, noting absently that Ken's place on my other side was still empty. Our first lesson was in our homeroom groups, which meant no traipsing around the school to get to the right room. Not that I cared. It's fun to see how fast you can make it through the corridors without getting knocked down and trampled. 

"Hey, what's that?" TK asked, reaching over and pulling something bright out of my pile of puke-coloured school books. Of course it had to be the goddamn singing card from my parents didn't it? I must have picked it up and shoved it in my bag along with everything else. Before I'd quite noticed what he was doing, TK had opened the card and the music was blaring across the classroom. I swear I am not exaggerating when I say that every single head in the room turned to look at me. 

"TK! Close it!" I hissed and TK complied, looking rather shell-shocked as he did so. 

The thing was, you're gonna love this, once the card was shut, the music didn't stop. Did not stop. It just kept going. And going and going and going…

TK turned to me with wide eyes and I could feel the heat rising to my cheeks I snatched the card back, opened it and slammed it shut again. Nothing. Oh joy. Luckily, before all my caring friends on the soccer team could start making catty comments, our homeroom teacher strolled in and ordered me to get rid of whatever was making that ridiculous noise. At least I thought it was lucky until I stepped outside the classroom and realised that I'd have to walk down the corridor carrying a singing birthday card. But I did it with my head held high and my shoulders thrown back and that's what matters. 

I kept going until I was right outside the building and then stamped on the evil thing. It crunched and made a garbled screeching noise. One more good, solid stamp did it. I threw the remains in the trash and hoped my parents wouldn't expect to see it again. 

By the time I got back to class, Ken was there. He smiled at me as I tried to slide unobtrusively back into my seat. I stress 'tried' because as I pulled the chair in with my foot, the leg got hit my school bag, which was as usual not pushed neatly under my desk, as it should have been, and the chair tipped back, taking me with it. The resulting almighty crash earned me a round of applause from my peers, which I accepted gracefully despite honestly feeling that my arm was broken. I did that once before when I was nine. Hurt like hell. But I got a lime green cast and an impressive scar to show for it so it wasn't all bad. When I had righted the chair and generally stopped making a spectacle of myself, the teacher took it into his own hands to make a further spectacle of me by asking loudly and unsympathetically if I was having a bad day and then kindly pointing out that my shirt was on inside out. The class loved that one. Bastard. He hates me. The feeling is mutual. I feel like an idiot most of the time without him reminding me.

When the teacher had finally shut his stupid fat mouth and we had started on our exercise in silence, Ken nudged me with a sympathetic smile. 

"Happy Birthday Dai," He whispered before returning to his work.

I think I've bored you enough with the details of how awful my day was. Just use your imagination to picture how the rest of the day went on. Lost homework, falling flat on my face in the cafeteria at lunchtime then accidentally swallowing the sticker on my apple, managing to smash my head on my locker door…all that good stuff. There must have been like some evil bad luck gremlin following me around all day or something, I don't know. 

But anyway the worst, the daddy of the bad luck, was the party that evening. Taichi had told me in passing at lunch that the party was going to be at Yamato's and to come by around seven. All well and good. Only Ken didn't know if he'd be able to make it. The extra credit project that had been consuming so much of his time recently was due Monday. And I would have to find some way of letting Jun know that I was leaving to see my friends without actually telling her where I was going or exactly which friends I would be seeing for fear of her gate crashing. But I have to let her know because last time she made my parents panic and call the police because I wasn't there.

I ended up just running out while her back was turned and leaving a note to my parents (if they ever decided to return home to their defenceless children) saying that I was at Ken's. Jun doesn't like Ken for some reason, probably because he's prettier than her, so I figured I'd be safe. 

Yamato's apartment is small and artistically scruffy. Whereas my house normally just looks like a mess, his looks like it's supposed to be a mess, if you get what I mean. He answered the door to me himself, wearing dark jeans, a black shirt and an easy smile, looking as perfectly flawless as ever. Everyone else was already there except for Ken. Oh and Mimi. But then she lives in America now so I wasn't really expecting her to be there. Iori embarrassed himself horribly by yelling 'Surprise!' at the top of his lungs as I walked into the room, having obviously gotten the wrong end of the stick. It was bad for him but otherwise good because it made everyone laugh and got the whole party atmosphere thing going. Besides it cheered me up by making me think that perhaps my bad luck gremlin had crossed over to Iori, no doubt because he's more its height.

See, I'm sure the party would have been pretty good. All my friends were there, along with a cheerful selection of food and some cool music that I hadn't heard before. Only I just kept getting that feeling where you know stuff is missing that makes it not quite right and impossible for you to really enjoy yourself. I'm generally a pretty happy person, a real life and soul kind of guy but at that party, I just wasn't feeling it. Perhaps it was a leftover side effect of my killer day. Perhaps it was because my best friends was up to his elbows in equations and therefore couldn't be here. I don't know. But anyway, I was kind of flitting about between people and conversations, trying not to go near Yamato for fear of saying something stupid, and telling myself that no matter where I was on my birthday, it was far far better than sitting at home on my own with Jun.

I was trying to eat away the woes of the day when Taichi sauntered over to talk to me.

"I really am sorry you know," he told me, reaching for a handful of potato chips. I made some kind of unintelligible noise through a mouthful of cookie in response.

"About the getting the day wrong thing," he clarified, giving me time to swallow.

"No problem. It happens," I finally managed to get out.

"Yeah well. It's a pretty crappy thing to do. Forgetting when your friend's birthday is,"

"You didn't exactly forget."

"And I didn't exactly remember either," Taichi pointed out and I felt myself smile.

"Hey you're right. Well I guess that I better not speak to you any more, since you're such a crap friend. In fact, I better not even stand near you…" I took an exaggerated step away from him, taking me conveniently closer to more food.

"Well that's fine," he retorted jokingly, "I don't want you for a friend anyway. You're short." 

"Well fine."

"Good."

"Fine." Taichi grinned amicably at me as I pouted convincingly. He'd come straight from soccer practice so his hair was still looking slightly windswept and he had a little smear of mud across one cheek that the shower had obviously missed. I'd like to hope that I'll get to be the team captain when I finally make it to upper school, but I've got Ken to compete with so I don't know what my chances are. Tai had no one to compete with because there just isn't anyone better than him at that end of the school. So unfair. Just like it's so unfair that he still gets half the cheerleading squad trailing around after him even though he's dating Yamato. Best of both worlds. Ugh, doesn't it just make you sick with envy? Thing is though, it's really hard to even be properly jealous of him because he's such a nice person. Nice and funny and interesting and tall and all that other stuff that he is. 

"So how's your day been, birthday boy?" Taichi asked me, obviously still my friend even if I was short. 

"Ugh…don't ask," I muttered, not wanting to be reminded.

"Rough, huh? Oh well. We all get them. Hey," he punched my shoulder in a chummy kind of way, "things can only get better, am I right?"

"Hope so."

Taichi opened his mouth to say something else but quickly got distracted as Yamato suddenly appeared out of nowhere and slid his arms around his boyfriend's waist. Oh good. Just what I needed. To be reminded of something else missing in my life. I had to reach for more cookies. Don't get me wrong; I think it's great that they feel comfortable enough to display affection in a room full of people. I just wish they wouldn't do it in front of me specifically. I was vaguely aware of the doorbell ringing as Yamato muttered something to Taichi, who grinned in response. I didn't want to know. They made such a fantastically perfect couple. There was this kind of novelty value to it…like when two of your favourite celebrities are an item. I was always impressed by the way they just seemed to be able to understand each other - they could communicate with nothing more than a glance and carried through the punch lines of each other's jokes and stories. They looked great together too. I know that's not really important but they did. Slender, beautiful Yamato and warm, charming Taichi. God, and they must have had an absolutely incredible sex life. You know what I mean, the 'make your mouth water' kind of sex life. And to top it off, they were best friends. Like best of the best. Like Ken and me just with the sex thing. Which is definitely something significant. Don't you hate people who have perfect lives?

"Hey…um…Dai?" Takeru's voice reached my ears over the din of my thoughts, "Your…er…sister's here."

To this day I still do not know how Jun figured out to come here of all places to look for me. But there she was, standing happily on the doorstep and announcing that I had to come home because our parents had been kind enough to return from what had in actuality probably been a sleazy night in a hotel away from the kids. I told her I wasn't coming but she was totally prepared for that and simply stated that if I wasn't coming then she was staying here until I would come. The look on Yamato's face decided that one for me. So I selflessly sacrificed my happiness for his well being. Talk about a knight in shining armour. 

I walked home with my sister in silence while she prattled on about school and shoes and Yamato's eyes. That's one thing we share, the incredible ability to keep a conversation going strong even when you're getting zero response from the person you're talking to. Pretty useful providing you're not on the receiving end.

When we made it home, my parents were waiting, with a nice birthday cake with nice candles and nice cheerful smiles on their faces. Thing was, by that point I was sick of that day and just wanted to go to bed so that it would be over. I didn't want their niceness. I wanted to see Ken and eat crap and play video games. But Ken was busy and my family wanted to act like a family today for some reason. Which is stupid because we never act like a family on regular days. Like I said before, I'm normally a pretty happy guy, but that day…I just didn't want to know. I was in a major sulk.

"Happy birthday Dai!" Jun squealed, still hyper from getting to make a brief visit to Yamato's doorstep. I felt like hitting her all of a sudden. But I didn't. Instead, I smiled nicely back and kept smiling nicely while they sang an off-key round of 'Happy Birthday'. Then I blew out my candles.

"Make a wish!" Hyper Jun cried ecstatically.

So I did. My thoughts instantly turned to Taichi for some reason. I thought about the smear of mud on his cheek, his award winning smile, his cheerleaders and his wet-dream boyfriend. I thought of my day, the singing card, the gremlin, the apple sticker, and Ken's equations. It seemed like a perfectly logical wish really. 

'I wish I had Taichi's life'

Makes sense, right? Of course it does. And it did to me too. Now, I'd just like to take a moment to point out that what happened next was not my fault. Not my fault in any way shape or form. There is no jury in the world that could ever condemn me for it because it simply and absolutely was not my fault. It was just a nice birthday cake with fifteen nice candles and a harmless wish made by a pissed off schoolboy who smelled of strawberry-coconut cheesecake. If you want to blame anyone, blame the gremlin. Because when I blew out those anorexic little candles, leaving them to trail their little candle smoke trails it was a completely innocent act.

I mean it's not like I actually thought for a second that it would come true.   


	2. Alarm Bells

Hero Worship

Part Two

~Natsu~

A/N: Well people seem to want me to continue…*shrugs* I live to please. Ack no…*smacks self in head* That is not the kickass-take-no-prisoners attitude that we have been carefully cultivating now, is it Natsu? But I guess that readers don't really appreciate rebellious authors. So I'll behave and continue this. ^^ Mmm…I seem to have a memory of Tai having bunk beds…I think I might have made it up in my head…but a memory is a memory and bunk beds seemed to work quite well so I went with it. And for those of you who want Kensuke…you're going to have to be patient because it's gonna be a long build up to it.

Don't know anything about the Japanese school system so I have improvised and created my very own system! Hooray! It's basically the same one you have here when you're doing AS/A2 levels. 

Disclaimer: Don't own Digimon or the characters. Sumi, however is mine. Not that anyone would want her…she has a tendency to bite. 

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The first thing I noticed when I woke up was that my alarm was going off. Which pissed me off because it was a Saturday and that meant that I had been so out of it the night before that I had forgotten to turn the alarm off. Looking back, I now understand that I must be thicker than I thought because that was just a completely stupid thing to notice first when there were so many other really huge things that were actually far far more noticeable. The second thing that I noticed was that the alarm was making a weird noise that was definitely not the noise of my alarm. Not weird as in really weird…like an elephant noise or something…but weird as in the incessant beeping was of a different pitch and pattern. It seemed louder too. But it was Saturday morning, and I was still suffering some kind of morning after the shitty day before hangover, so I really couldn't have given a damn about the pitch of the alarm. The only thing that mattered was that it had to go OFF. So, I reached a groping hand out from under the covers to turn it off, as you do. Thing was, as I reached across the gap between my bed and the nightstand, my hand collided with something hard that felt distinctly like a nightstand. Which was weird, because as I just mentioned, there is a definite gap there. 'Gap' meaning 'empty space', not 'solid object'.

I opened my eyes blearily and tried to focus them, all ready and prepared to yell at Jun for messing with stuff in my room. But as the blurry shapes began to develop into actual recognisable objects, I nearly had a heart attack. Because I was not in my room. Unless Jun had done some admirably elaborate rearranging just to confuse me, I was in a completely alien room. Which really is a very scary thing to wake up to.

I shoved myself up from the bed in a great hurry and immediately wished I hadn't as my head hit some solid surface above me. And before you ask, yes it hurt. A lot. I slumped back against the pillow, reeling from my second nasty shock of the morning. I didn't get a chance to recover from that one before life hit me with the third, which came in the form of a melodic burst of laughter.

"God you idiot. You'd have thought you would have learned that there's another bed up there by now, but no…" a voice reached my ears from right beside me. 

Startled, I did the amazingly clever thing of trying to jump up quickly again and successfully smashing my head. Again. I caught on quickly after that though, and ducked as I hopped urgently off of the mattress, avoiding hitting myself again on what turned out to be the upper bunk of a set of bunk beds. The previous morning, there had been no excuse for my clumsiness. But on this particular morning I think you can forgive me for it because I recognised that voice as soon as I heard it and, let me tell you, it sent a huge wave of panic sweeping through me. 

Yamato's face was positively alight with affectionate amusement from where he lay on the bed, Taichi's bed, I suddenly noticed, propped up on one elbow. Now you understand why I feel like such a fool for noticing the alarm clock first.

"That's going to be a helluva a bruise you know," he informed me, grinning and tossing ruffled blonde bangs out of his eyes. He was wearing a crumpled, pale blue button-down shirt that for some reason looked as though it didn't belong to him and the sunlight leaking through the blinds was catching his hair, tossing careless highlights across the blonde surface.

"Oh God," was all I could think of to say.

"Oh God what?" Yamato asked as his shirt slipped almost deliberately off one shoulder.

"Oh GOD."

"What?" he asked again, sitting up properly and looking at me with mild concern. "Don't tell me you actually managed to hurt yourself?" 

I could only gape and move my mouth soundlessly. Give me a break okay? I was probably in shock or something. The whole waking up in a strange room when I had very definitely gone to sleep the night before in my own bed was bad enough, but waking up next to HIM of all people was definitely enough to give me a little spell as a gaping, speechless idiot.

The next thing I knew, Yamato had slipped elegantly out of the bed (not so much as grazing the surface of the bunk above him, I might add) and was standing right in front of me.

"Are you alright?" he asked, slipping a hand under my chin and tilting my face upwards. Naturally, I panicked and looked down. It was an automatic reaction. All I could think of was the fact that I had just woken up with my idol's half-dressed boyfriend. 

"Dai, look at me, okay? You might have given yourself concussion or something," Yamato's mellow voice commanded gently and I lifted my eyes, noticing three things, simultaneously. Firstly, the fact that he had called me 'Dai', which meant that he definitely knew who I was and that it couldn't just be some weird misunderstanding. Secondly, I was able to look into his eyes quite comfortably. I didn't have to look up about a foot above me. And THAT meant that either he had shrunk or I had grown. One of the two. Whichever it was, we were now roughly the same height. Thirdly I noticed that his eyes were even more incredible from close up, and if he wanted me to look at him then I was more than happy to oblige.

"Your eyes are focusing okay…guess you didn't hurt yourself too badly," Yamato muttered, more to himself than to me. I was just starting to adjust to this new close proximity and formulating an idea that perhaps I had quite innocently spent the night at Taichi's house after the party along with the others and that I had dreamt Jun coming to drag me home early, when Yamato threw that all up in the air by brushing his lips delicately across my forehead. 

It was a shock to say the least.

To my credit, I didn't panic. Perhaps because it happened too quickly for me to actually _react_, as such, but that's beside the point. I watched numbly as Yamato stepped back and ran a hand through his hair. 

"You better hurry up and get ready. We're going to be late," he stated, as if this should mean something to me.

"Yeah? Late for what?" Even now I am still proud of how steady my voice was.

"Duh. For school." Yamato turned distractedly and snatched a pair of jeans, presumably his, from the back of the desk chair.

"But it's Saturday…" I said uncertainly. Hey, everything was out of whack. Why not the days of the week too? Yamato gave me a sympathetic look.

"Wishful thinking Dai. It's Monday."

"Monday?! Aw man, I missed the whole weekend?!" I couldn't help myself. I love my weekends. Yamato looked at me oddly. If I didn't know better I'd have said he looked confused. It was adorable.

"Missed? But…ugh. Whatever. Don't confuse me early in the morning Dai. You know I can't functioned right. Function. God…" 

It was so weird. I'd only ever seen Yamato acting completely and utterly one hundred percent together. To see him being scatty was kind of cool. Proved that he was actually a real person under there. 

"You're fun to confuse," I said, without thinking about it and when Yamato actually stuck his tongue out at me in response, I almost laughed out loud. Childishness seemed as alien in Yamato as scatty behaviour did.

"Well I'm getting the bathroom first, so there," he threw back, and waltzed out the door, closing it sharply behind him. 

You know how sometimes in a crisis, you suddenly find all this inner strength to draw on and simply act on adrenaline and instinct and pull through it award-winningly? But then as soon as the crisis is over and the adrenaline runs out, that's when the panic sets in and you freak like never before? That's pretty much what happened to me the second Yamato shut that door. Whatever it was that had been keeping me from panicking before, suddenly collapsed and everything hit me at once. 

My first coherent thought was 'What the fuck?!' This was like, absolute mental meltdown. I felt like laughing. Really loud and really maniacally. I mean it had to be a joke or something, some kind of trick that someone was playing on me just for kicks. But if it was a joke then I was missing the punch line in a really big way. 

It was then, just as I was feeling on the verge of panic, like when all your thoughts start to merge into one and you know that any second you're just going to lose it completely, that for no rational reason that I remembered that wish. The thought occurred to me in the same way that the wish itself had done the day before, a sudden burst of clarity and certainty in a massive jumble of my typically disjointed thoughts. There was no reason for me to remember it suddenly, I mean, like I said before, I would never rationally have thought that it could come true. And to be honest, I don't think that I'd normally have actually remembered even making the wish. I'm not known for my memory, in case you didn't know. But suddenly, there it was. It just popped into my head, poof, and I knew without doubt that that stupid wish made over a birthday cake had become a reality.

Looking back, it seems insane that I would have believed such a thing. But to be fair, it's not like I haven't seen anything stranger. I needed an answer, one threw itself at me and I was quite willing to accept it. More than willing. I gave myself up to that explanation totally, without a second thought. Instead, I concentrated the few thoughts I had on trying to work out exactly what I was going to do now that I'd established that the impossible had occurred and that I had somebody else's life.

My God, I _had_ somebody else's _life_. What did that even mean? Did that make me Tai? Or was I still me? Yamato had called me Dai…and I definitely felt like me, but did that mean that I still was me? What had happened to Tai? Was he still here? Was he me? Would he look like me? Did I look like him? 

To answer that last question, I glanced around the room for a mirror, and not finding one, opened the wardrobe door on a hunch. Sure enough, there was a mirror on the inside of the door.

Looking at myself was weird, to say the least. I looked like myself, only different. I guess, I looked how I would look in a couple of years time. And to be honest with you, I looked GOOD. Even if I do say so myself. It was a pretty pleasant surprise, that's for sure. Not that I don't look good normally, but like it showed that I was going to stay looking good for a while yet to come. Sweet. I laughed happily at my reflection. This was fantastic! I suppose really I should have thought about it properly and realised that having Tai's life might not actually be quite such a good thing, but at the time, all I could think about was the fact that literally overnight, my crappy life had turned into something unbelievably perfect.

I was busy trying to see what different shapes I could make with my hair when a knock at the door sent me into another panic. For some reason I knew that it wouldn't be Yamato. The knowledge that he wouldn't have bothered to knock must have been automatically planted into my brain or something. So that meant that it could only be family. Taichi's family, surely. If I still had my own family, there's no way Yamato would have left my room alone. Not while Jun could be prowling the hallways. But Tai's family…I didn't really know them that well. I mean I knew Kari, and I guess his mum seemed nice but what if they knew? What if they could tell that something was wrong? I wouldn't fit in and they'd know that I wasn't part of their family.

And how would I explain what had happened? 

Before I had a chance to think any further, Kari poked her head tentatively round the door, eyes closed.

"Please tell me you're wearing clothes," she said hopefully and I couldn't help but crack a grin. At least I wasn't having to deal with Tai's father, whose name I can't even remember.

"Sure I am. Why wouldn't I be?" I replied through my grin, closing the wardrobe door. Yes, I'm vain, but that doesn't mean that I want other people to see me being vain. Taichi's sister snorted calmly as she opened her eyes.

"Don't give me that. Just because Mum and Dad are clueless doesn't mean I am too." She paused to step inside and glance around the room. "Where's Yamato?"

"Bathroom."

"Ah. Well you'd better hurry up, Mum says. You're going to be late again. Are you walking with us this morning?" 

Oh God, were we? How was I supposed to know?

"Erm…" 

Kari sighed patiently while I dithered and tried to decide whether I should say yes or no. I wished Yamato was here to make the decision. It wasn't even a hard decision or anything, but it could have given me away or something. I don't know. My brain works in weird ways.

"Are you going to be ready in five minutes?" she asked.

"Erm…probably not."

"Then you're walking on your own. I'll see you later, okay?"

"Yeah sure. Hey Kari?" A thought had suddenly occurred to me as Kari was starting to close the door and she stopped, looking back at me. "This might sound weird but…tell me who you walk to school with again?" Her brow crinkled in the confusion that I had expected.

"Dai, you know who I walk with…"

"Humour me." I said quickly and she looked at me like I was crazy but complied anyway.

"TK, Tai and Ken. Why?"

"Tai?"

"Ye-es…"

"Oh. Okay. Thanks." Well that answered that question, I thought to myself, feeling slightly shell-shocked at the idea. 

"Are you feeling okay?" Kari asked, looking at me with bewildered concern. 

"I already asked him that," Yamato's voice floated to my ears, as he appeared quite suddenly behind Kari, "He hit his head."

"Yeah, um, I did. But I'm okay. Don't worry about it." I put in hastily, suddenly wanting them both to leave so that I could get a chance to think everything through.

Well…at least Kari could leave. Yamato would undoubtedly have greatly helped the thought process.

"If you're sure…" she threw me a concerned look before turning her attention to Yamato. "Just don't let him walk into anything on the way to school," Kari told him.

"Yeah, yeah, I know the drill," Yamato returned with a grin, before stepping inside and closing the door behind him. He was already dressed for school and although his hair was still damp from the shower, he looked amazingly presentable for the short amount of time that he was in the bathroom for. I always figured he must spend hours in there every morning to look as good as he does. He ran a hand through his hair, which fell gracefully back into place and then looked straight at me. I swear his looks are practically tangible. Those eyes fix on you and you're lucky if you don't get knocked right off your feet. 

"You're not ready," he stated, sounding irritable but not surprised.

"Ah…no."

"So you better make yourself ready." His tone didn't leave room for argument. So I didn't argue. I'm not stupid.

"Right."

Ten minutes later, after a frenzy of books, shirts, toasters and shoelaces, I was standing outside Taichi's apartment building, munching on the last of my toast and mentally applauding Yamato's efficiency in getting me dressed, fed and out the door in time. We started the walk to school in a companionable silence. It felt weird. Companionable silence was something I was used when I was with Ken or TK, not Yamato. It was weird, but nice nonetheless. It was nice to not have to worry about thinking of something to say to him that wouldn't make me feel like an idiot. Yamato broke the silence first.

"We get our tests back in Maths today, right?" He asked.

"Um…don't remember. Think so," I replied vaguely.

"Ugh. I bet I failed." There was a foreign note of worry in Yamato's voice.

"Bet you didn't. If anyone failed, it'll be me." I hate Maths. I'm terrible at it and it doesn't help that my best friend is just about the best maths student that this world has ever seen. I'm better with arty things. Numbers tend to confuse me. Give me charcoal over a calculator any day. Yamato's voice brought my attention back to him.

"What are you talking about? You're good at Maths."

"I am? Well I mean…well yeah." Smooth. Way to look like you're not completely out of place. Yamato seemed too wrapped up in his own thoughts to notice though, tossing stray locks of blonde hair out of his eyes.

"At least I have music after to calm me down." I made a noise of agreement, wondering what lesson I would have then. This day could prove to be difficult. 

As we entered the school gates I found myself inching gradually closer to the comforting blonde presence at my side that was Yamato. It felt like the first day at a new school all over again. 

"Hey Daisuke!" The voice made me jump and I turned to see an unfamiliar boy nodding at me in greeting. I smiled back uncertainly, nearly jumping out of my skin as a hand clapped me on the shoulder.

"Great game on Saturday, Dai! What we like to see!" another unfamiliar guy grinned at me before moving on into the stream of students entering the building. We followed, entering through the main doors and starting down the corridor and the random greetings continued.

"Dai! Hi!" A female voice chirped, as an arm slipped easily through mine. A petite girl with pouty lips and black hair in little bunches beamed at me. "Hey, that rhymes!" she giggled cheerfully, then asked, "Did you have a good weekend?" I resisted the urge to reply that I wouldn't know because I had skipped it completely and instead mumbled in an indefinite way. The girl seemed unperturbed, turning her attention to Yamato, who was still walking beside me.

"Morning gorgeous," she grinned at him and Yamato smiled back, obviously doing a better job of recognising her than I had done.

"Alright Sumi?"

"Not bad. Practice tonight, yeah?" she asked and I suddenly recognised her as being the drummer in Yamato's band.

"Yeah. If Koji actually bothers to turn up."

"Tell me about it. How was the game Dai? Sorry I couldn't make it."

"Oh er…good."

"Well that's a surprise. Still haven't managed to shake that pesky winning streak, eh?" she smiled wryly at me, and there was something in her face that made me like her.

"Nope. I'm thinking about seeking professional help," I replied, playing along and she laughed in response. She had a great laugh that made me want to laugh right along with her.

"Aren't we all?" She paused and let go of my arm as we reached the classroom "Well, here's my stop. Thanks for the ride. Later, Yama."

"See ya Sumi."

She waved as she disappeared into the classroom and we continued down the hall. I'm sure that I had heard Taichi say before that he and Yamato were in the same homeroom. Which was a good thing because I had no idea where I was going. I simply followed Yamato into a room a few doors down and slid into the seat next to him. The teacher at the front of the room, Mr.Furusawa was almost as bad as mine and I could tell from the second I walked into the room that I was going to hate him just as much. He kept giving me the same evil 'I am going to make your life a living hell' looks that my teacher used to give me, and I could have sworn that he was positively leering at Yamato. It was disconcerting to say the least. To avoid having to look up at him, I focused on answering my name, listening to the conversations of people around me and studying Taichi's crumpled timetable. He was taking PE, naturally, and Maths as Yamato had mentioned earlier. He was also taking Biology, which I wasn't expecting. Unfortunately, Art was nowhere to be seen on the timetable. I didn't really expect to see it there but it was still disappointing. That meant I'd have to find time to do it outside of school for however long I was living this bizarre crossover existence. Taichi's fourth subject was Sociology. That one nearly knocked me out of my chair. What was that even about? I mean…I could guess that it was about people and stuff but…it still sounded alien and scary. 

I was impressed that I made it to the whole of registration without embarrassing myself horribly. 

As promised, the first lesson of the day was Maths. The class was taught by an odd looking middle-aged woman with strange hair and horn-rimmed glasses. She smiled at me cheerfully though as Yamato and I took seats near the back of the room and she didn't seem all that bad. In fact, as the lesson went on, she actually turned out to be quite funny, and I found myself snickering at her dry sense of humour more than once. 

Luckily, all we did was go over the test that Yamato had mentioned so I didn't have to do any actual Maths, which was definitely a good thing. Yamato seemed happy with his mark of 81% and I was shocked to discover that I had scored 11% higher than him. Yamato had been right. Tai was good at Maths. I wouldn't have guessed that. Unfortunately, while Tai might have been good at Maths, I most definitely was not. And as Mrs.Touma launched into her explanations, covering the board with x's and y's and decimals as far as the eye could see, I felt my head spin. It's amazing how much more complicated Maths can get in the space of two years. I concentrated my attention instead on sketching Yamato in the back of my notebook.

After Maths, Yamato had Music and I had PE. I knew where the gym was so there was no chance of me getting lost and I made my way there with nervous anticipation. In Math class, I was way out of my league, but in PE I was in my element. We played tennis, not my best sport, but not my worst either, and the Teacher prattled on about muscle extension and tearing ligaments. It was actually really interesting and I decided that PE was definitely going to be a subject that I would be taking when I got to this stage. If I ever got my own life back, that was. Not that I would care if I didn't. By the end of the lesson, I was relaxed, sweaty and understood completely why Biology was one of Taichi's other subjects. That stuff about muscles and shit sounded pretty complicated.

Taichi's timetable informed me that I had a free period next, which was cool. It would have been cooler, of course, if I'd had some idea of what I was supposed to be doing with it. I contented myself with sprawling out on one of the sunny benches outside and working on my sketch from Maths. I was essentially dead to the world until I felt a hand on my shoulder just before the lunch bell rang. People wouldn't expect from the way that I'm normally so loud that I'm the kind of person who can quite happily occupy themselves with quiet activities. Well I'll have you know that I can spend hours sketching in silence without getting bored. In fact, that's probably why I'm so loud the rest of the time. I'm overcompensating.

"What are you doing?" Yamato asked curiously, leaning over my shoulder from behind and I wondered if I'd ever get used to him appearing seemingly out of thin air.

"Drawing," I replied simply, not quite ready to return to loud hyper happy peppy mode. 

"Drawing?" 

"Uh huh…" I swept my pencil along the jaw line of the Yamato in the picture, holding the shape and curve of it my mind. Yamato was silent for a moment and I almost forgot he was there as I lost myself once again in the arcs and jerks of the lead. There's something so intoxicating about the way it slides across the paper. Playing soccer gives you a buzz. Sketching takes you down again. 

"That's so good," Yamato's voice brought me back to earth suddenly and I turned my head to look at him. Could that possibly have been a compliment I had heard tripping from his lips? "I never knew you could draw…since when have you been able to draw?" 

"Um…since always?" I replied, and in the amount of time it took for me to glance down at the drawing in my lap and then back up again, Yamato had disappeared from behind me and was taking a seat next to me on the bench.

"How come I've never seen you draw before then? You've never even mentioned it."

"It's kind of a private thing." I replied, truthfully. 

"Oh. Okay." 

Another silence fell and after a moment, I turned back to shading the contours of his face, glancing at him occasionally for reference. Sketching never works the same if it isn't done from observation. And it's always best when your model is oblivious to the fact that they're being drawn. That's the best thing about Ken. Most of the time in lessons or when he's at my house watching TV or playing video games or whatever, he switches off to everything that isn't the task at, which means that he never notices if I draw him. I have whole sketchbooks full of Ken sketches. Not only that, but he's got a really interesting face, like Yamato's, full of abstract curves and shapes. Really interesting. It makes my drawing hand itch to capture those beautiful corners and contrasts on paper and do them the justice that they deserve. What? Can't I be arty? Just because I'm loud and play soccer doesn't mean that I can't be arty too you know. 

"Is that me?" Yamato asked quietly, his voice once again pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Yeah. Why?" I asked and was surprised when Yamato paused uncertainly.

"Do you really think I look like that?" he asked, smirking slightly in a weird way that I couldn't understand. I can't explain it. He looked like he expected me to laugh at him or something. I smiled warmly in reassurance.

"Well you do."

"Oh." Yamato replied.

And that was all he said until the bell rang for lunch.

Lunch itself was uneventful. Yamato and I ate in the cafeteria with Sumi and some other guy from Yamato's band, and listened to Sumi's adoring babble about her art teacher. I decided that Art was another subject that I would definitely be taking. Sora said hi to me as we passed each other in the hallway and Mrs.Touma grinned when I held a door open for her. All in all, I was feeling in a damn decent mood as we made our way through the masses on the way to afternoon registration. I was enjoying being able to see over other people's heads as I strutted along with Yamato at my side. Not even Mr.Furusawa's nasty looks could bring me down. 

I'm not going to lie to you though; Biology was hard. Really hard. I'm as bad at science as I am at Maths and osmotic potential just didn't seem to be something that I was ever going to need to know about in later life. Thank God Yamato was in that class with me. We had to do an experiment and if I hadn't had him for a lab partner, I don't know what I would have done. I pretended I knew what I was doing and recorded the results and measured out glucose solution into test tubes while Yamato did the difficult bits. He didn't seem to notice or care, luckily and I was able to continue my measuring and recording, while mentally noting how cute he looked with a pair of huge standard-issue safety goggles perched on the end of his nose. But that didn't mean that I wasn't grateful when the bell rang and the lesson ended. We had to have written up the experiment by the same time next week and I realised for the first time that even if Taichi's life seemed to be perfect, he still had to do homework. 

The last lesson of the day was Sociology. I walked there with Sumi, who had also been in our Biology class and sat with her during the lesson. The teacher was late and I discovered two interesting facts about Sumi. Firstly, that she had made the outfit she was wearing with her own two hands and secondly that she was incredibly intelligent. She was one of the few students in the year who were taking five subjects. Maths, Biology, Chemistry, Sociology and Art. She wasn't taking Music because that was her hobby and she thought that studying it at school would dampen her enjoyment of it. 

"My Grandparents want me to be a doctor," she informed me as she inspected one cherry coloured fingernail. 

"Yeah? Cool."

"No not cool. I am going to be an artist. They can just go fuck themselves," Sumi replied sharply and I could tell that it was a sensitive issue. 

The teacher, Ms.Tanaka bustled in eventually and began the lesson briskly. She was young, looked fresh out of school herself, but was nice and her teaching was upbeat. I liked her. The class was small and the lesson was more like a discussion group than an actual lesson. We spent the hour talking about prejudice and racism. It was pretty interesting and it was cool to have a lesson where I could just voice my opinion without having to go through all that raising your hand crap. I actually got quite into it and by the end of the lesson, Sumi and I were dominating the discussion. Suppose it makes sense, since we were the loudest in there by far. Our homework was to think about our own views and decide how prejudiced the average person actually is without realising that they are. Ms.Tanaka said that it was human nature for everybody to be prejudiced to some extent. It was an interesting concept, to say the least. It was weird, I didn't normally leave lessons thinking about what we'd just been taught, but a lot of the stuff I'd found out that day was being turned over and over in my head as I strolled leisurely up to the school gates at the end of the day, and it wasn't just the stuff that I'd been told by the teachers either.

Yamato was waiting for me at the gates. He smiled breezily as I approached and I had to remind my self for about the fiftieth time that day that he was my boyfriend. Even if it was only temporary, he was still my boyfriend, and that was enough for me. All day I had been expecting everything to suddenly return to normal without warning, but he was still there, still smiling straight at me. The sun was still shining, the birds were still singing and I could still see over the tops of people's heads. I felt on top of the world.

I happily returned Yamato's smile with one of my own but stopped in my tracks quite suddenly when I noticed who was standing beside him. 

I suppose I should have known that I'd encounter him sooner or later.


	3. Role Reversal

Hero Worship

Part Three

+ Natsu +

A/N: I'm working on a lot of original stuff right now so if you want me to continue with this, please review. Because the reviews are what keep me writing fanfiction – I need to know that there are people actually interested in reading this to motivate me to write more.

Right…er…personally, I think that Daisuke must have some kind of hidden character depth. I like Daisuke a lot and in the programme they made him really stupid and I'm making up for that. So I've made him artistic. Don't ask me why. I just see him as being artistic. *shrugs* Oh and for anyone who cares, 'Lord of the Flies' was written by William Golding and it is a fantastic book that everyone has to read. And just for the record, I liked Simon. He might have gone weird and insane, but he was my favourite character because he was a sweetie.

-------------------------------------------

He looked shorter. In true Motomiya style, that was the first thing I noticed. I don't know why I obsess about height so much…but as a short person, let me tell you that height is something fundamental in this crazy modern world. I mean, since when have you see a short supermodel? And have you ever tried to buy clothes when everything in the shop is made for people twice your size? Height matters. Life is hard for short people. If you're one of us you'll understand. Anyway. He looked shorter.

But when he grinned at me, his smile was still the same.

"Hey Dai," he exclaimed cheerfully and then continued without pausing to breathe, "Did you have a good day? You know what in practice today at lunch I scored a hat trick! I was just telling Yamato about it, right?" Taichi shifted his adoring gaze to Yamato, who smiled and nodded politely in response, shifting uncomfortably when that gaze lingered longer than necessary. 

Well, I suppose that Taichi had already answered the obvious question. He was completely unaware of any switch. Which I suppose was a good thing.

"I saw your game Saturday, Dai," Taichi informed me, "Great goal."

"Thanks," I replied graciously, starting to wish that I had been there to see this supposedly incredible game myself.

"The rest of them won't stand a chance in the finals!" 

"Nope. We'll wipe the floor with their sorry asses," I returned, throwing in one of Taichi's favourite victory phrases just for good measure. Hey, if you're going to do something, you might as well do it properly.

"You say that, and you'll lose," Yamato warned calmly, adjusting the strap of his guitar case that was slung over his shoulder.

"What are you talking about?" Taichi answered in my place. "There's no way we can lose! Not with Daisuke as our captain!"

"I was only saying that you shouldn't jinx yourself." Yamato's eyes bore into Taichi's impassively and you could practically see the shorter boy's indignation melt away under the force of Yamato's stare. It was actually pretty funny.

"Well…yeah…I guess you have a point there," Taichi muttered, before turning on me. "Dai! Don't jinx it!"

"Yes sir," I replied mockingly with a sharp salute, earning myself an amused grin from Yamato. Our gaze met for a moment, before Yamato tossed his hair out of his eyes and turned his head to watch the side exit of the building, which was the door that his brother would be coming out of. 

"I told Takeru we'd walk home with them today," he explained without me needing to ask why we were still standing at the gates and making no effort to start the walk home. 

"Oh. Okay," I replied simply and a silence fell between us. I used the time to study Tai. It was really freaky, seeing him like this. It'd take some getting used to, thinking of Taichi being younger than me. I mean this guy had been my hero for years. Who was I going to idolise now? Because surely there had to be someone above Taichi…hell, Taichi himself must have had somebody to look up to. It was just a case of finding the right person. Yes. That wouldn't be a problem. 

They're funny things really, aren't they? Idols. Especially if your idol is somebody you've never met before, or somebody who's already dead. How does that work? You've never met them and yet you trust and admire them so completely that you might as well have known them your whole life. I guess I was lucky having an idol so close to home. Other people probably aren't so lucky…like, I wonder who Yamato's idol is? It's hard to imagine that Yamato could ever need anyone to look up to. Tall, beautiful, talented, intelligent, confident Yamato. He might as well idolise himself, for crying out loud. Perhaps he just didn't need an idol. I don't know.

And anyway, forget finding a new idol for myself, I was actually being idolised now by somebody else. Me, Taichi's hero, an idol in the flesh. How completely cool. I felt like I should get some kind of special nametag or something, just to show everybody, to announce my newfound status to the world. I am somebody. I mean something. I matter.

I glanced at Taichi, feeling that somebody else should be sharing in this ego-boosting revelation that I'd suddenly stumbled across, and found that I needn't have bothered. I had no chance of catching his eye when they were both permanently glued to Yamato. I had to stifle a laugh at the adoring expression on the scruffy-haired boy's face. I really hoped that I didn't look like that when I used to stare at Yamato. I hoped I didn't make it quite so obvious that I was staring either. 

With an attention span as short as mine (or as short as Tai's, whatever), just watching two people stare in opposite directions gets boring pretty quickly and I soon felt my gaze starting to wander, scanning lazily over the petering flow of students exiting the school. Some nameless member of the cheerleading squad, distinguished from the crowd only by her red and white uniform, waved at me and I was busy waving back when my eyes lighted on a familiar face.

"Ken! Hi!" I called automatically, sprinting the few steps to meet him and catching the attention of Taichi and Yamato who followed my gaze to the boy approaching us with his eyes characteristically lowered. He's way more confident than he used to be, but he's still not all that hot on big crowds. Ken looked up at the sound of his name, his violet hair bouncing cheerfully as he did so. His hair's so funny like that. It always seems to be happier to see people than Ken is. 

"Hello," he returned my greeting calmly as I reached him.

"Aw man, Ken I have had the best day, wait'll I tell you!" I exclaimed, holding my fist out to Ken for this stupid little hand greeting thing that we've done for ages, "Do you want to come over tonight?" I know you might think that telling someone about this whole 'I wished for someone else's life and it came true' thing might not be the best idea, but to be honest, it never even occurred to me that I might not tell Ken. I tell him everything, no exceptions. So why should this be any different?

Ken stared at my hand for a second and then looked up at me as if I had sprouted a second head. He just looked at me like I was a total freak. He didn't smile or anything, just stared. Before I'd managed to work out what was wrong, Taichi shoved past me, grinning from ear-to-ear.

"Ken man! Where've you been? I haven't seen you all day!" Taichi exclaimed, holding his fist out to Ken in much the same way that I still was. The difference was though that as soon as Tai started speaking, Ken's attention snapped to him and he broke out into a glowing smile, bringing his own fist down on top of Tai's.

"That stupid project again," Ken explained, speaking directly to Tai as if I didn't exist, "I'm sorry I wasn't around. It's almost finished. I should be able to eat lunch with you guys tomorrow."

"Well good. You better," Tai told my friend sternly, then slung an arm over his shoulders. "I missed ya," he added for good measure.

"Yeah I bet. Well hard as it is to believe, I would actually prefer to spend lunch with you and the soccer team than with a load of fractions."

This was surreal. I watched in confusion as Tai laughed and removed his arm from Ken's shoulders before proceeding to launch into a detailed account of his hat trick. I watched as Ken smiled and listened, hanging on Tai's every word with seemingly genuine interest. What the hell was happening?

I'm embarrassed to admit how long I actually stood there and watched the two of them engaged in animated conversation, completely oblivious to the rest of the world around them before I worked it out. If Tai now had my life, didn't it make sense that Ken would be his best friend, and not mine? Ken and I were just about as close as you could get, but Ken and Taichi on the other hand, hardly ever spoke, which would explain why he looked so confused by my enthusiastic greeting.

So I was standing there, fist hanging dejectedly at my side and I suddenly got this awful sinking feeling. I can't really explain why…I suppose it was just the thought that all my years of friendship with this one person had suddenly evaporated into nothing. That's not a nice thought. I felt hurt that Ken hadn't been able to bypass this whole wish reality thing…like it felt as though we were close enough for him to still be able to recognise me for who I had been, even though nobody else was able to. It felt like a rejection, stupid huh? And, this is weird, I felt angry too. Really pissed off at Tai for stealing my best friend. For getting Ken's friendship for nothing when I had spent all that time and effort slowly winning him round, getting him to trust me, giving him time to get used to having a proper friend again.

It was just a sudden flare of anger before I quickly realised how ridiculous it was for me to be angry with Tai. I mean it was hardly his fault. It wasn't like he was the one who made the wish. And to be fair, I had technically stolen both his best friend and his lover in one. So surely I had no right to condemn him for a lesser crime. I guess that everything good comes with a price. And anyway, the way I saw it, if I could win Ken's friendship once, I could surely do it again. Only now it would be easier because he'd already got used to having friends. So then I'd have Ken still, but I'd also have Yamato and all the other cool stuff that came with Taichi's life. No worries.

It still hurt though.

"Dai! We going?" Yamato's voice calling to me jerked my attention away from Ken and Taichi and I turned to see that Kari and TK were standing with Yamato and waiting for us. I noted absently that TK was almost as tall as Yamato now as I trudged back. I fell easily into step with Yamato as he started to walk, more than ready to leave the school behind. 

"What were you so excited to see Ken about?" the too observant blonde enquired, tilting his head slightly to look at me as we walked. He smirked and raised one elegant eyebrow, "Having a bit on the side, huh?" he asked, "I'm not enough for you?"

The idea of Yamato being 'not enough' for me almost had me collapsed on the floor in hysterical laughter. Oh the irony. Instead, I controlled myself valiantly and glanced over my shoulder, past Kari and TK, to where Ken was laughing as Tai was doing an impression of their PE teacher. 

"I heard that he did really well in practice a couple of days ago, scored an impossible goal. Just wanted to congratulate him," I lied, trusting that Yamato would have no interest in the younger boys' soccer team and wouldn't know that I was lying. 

He didn't. 

The walk back from school was basically uneventful. Tai kept running up to the front of our little procession to tell Yamato and I meaningless things about his day or his life in general. When he did, he would always smile at Yamato and walk as close to him as he could without arousing suspicion. And if Yamato answered him or smiled back, he'd get this flushed, cheerful look on his face as if somebody had just handed him a million bucks for nothing. It might have been kind of cute if it didn't demonstrate to me so clearly how completely unsubtle I must have always been around Yamato. Embarrassing. 

"I think he has a crush on you, you know," I told Yamato after Tai had run back to Ken after about his ninety-fifth little escapade to talk to us. Yamato smiled in response.

"Yeah I know," he replied simply, confirming my absolute and total lack of subtlety. Yes. Score me.

The only other thing worth mentioning was a little run in we had with my ever-lovely older sister. Now she was something that Tai was totally welcome to. As is often the case with Jun, I heard her before I saw her and so, apparently, did Yamato. He stopped walking instantly and TK crashed right into him, too wrapped up in his conversation with Kari to notice his brother.

Jun rounded the corner, going in the opposite direction to us and talking to one of her girlfriends as she walked. Their conversation halted immediately as she caught sight of Yamato and they stopped where they were. It was like a showdown in a Western, Yamato and I with our motley posse facing Jun and her deputy. Jun got the first shot, her face breaking into a grin as she started forwards again and opened her mouth to speak to us. We were ready and waiting to take her on, when Taichi appeared out of nowhere and seized my/his sister's arm. I guess that whole materialising out of thin air was something that he and Yamato had learned together. Maybe they took an evening class or something.

Anyway, he grabbed her arm and pulled her to one side and said quietly in a 'concerned-friend-and-sensible-little-brother' kind of way, "He's had a really bad day Jun. I think he'd appreciate it if you just left him alone today…he doesn't even want to talk to us." Taichi threw a pointed look to Yamato, who caught on and did his best to look moody and traumatised. 

Jun cocked her head to one side, taking in Yamato's expression, then looked back to Taichi. "What's wrong?" she asked, like a concerned relative addressing a doctor.

"He just broke up with his girlfriend," Taichi lied smoothly, without skipping a beat.

"Sumi?" 

"Yeah." I assumed that this must have been another lie that Tai had fed Jun at an earlier date. Clever. I should of thought of something like that. 

"He's still on the rebound," Taichi was saying, "so give him a week to get over her, okay?" 

Jun still looked doubtful and I watched with interest as Taichi leaned forwards and whispered some further advice to his sister.

"You think?" she asked quietly as he pulled back. Tai nodded in response and Jun seemed satisfied with whatever he had told her. She then proceeded to approach Yamato cautiously, who stiffened noticeably as she drew up close to him.

"I'm sorry to hear about you and Sumi, Yama," Jun told him solemnly, before motioning for her friend to follow and brushing past us. 

"What did you tell her?" I asked once Jun was safely around the next corner and Taichi grinned in response.

"Oh you know…just that she should give it a week and then play hard to get because you're so much more likely to notice her that way than if she takes it head on."

"Thanks," Yamato said from beside me and I turned to see him smiling gratefully at Taichi.

"No problem!" Taichi exclaimed, getting that look on his face again, returning Yamato's smile with one of his own. "She should leave you alone for a while. And if she doesn't then you have my total permission to shoot her. Seriously. I'm surprised you haven't done it already."

Yamato laughed at that, a genuine laugh of the 'turn you heart to mush' variety. After taking in Taichi's proud smile, something made me glance over my shoulder to look at Ken.

He had the weirdest expression on his face. It reminded me of the feelings I'd had earlier when he had failed to acknowledge my hand gesture. I could sympathise with that. Even if I had no idea where those feelings had come from in Ken's case.

When we got to the point where we would split up and go our separate ways, I took the turning that would take me to my apartment building out of pure habit. It's lucky though that Taichi and I live in kind of the same direction and you have to take the turning to get to his house as well.

"Dai? Aren't you coming to my place?" Yamato asked, pausing as I started down the next street

"Um…I don't know. Am I?" I replied, turning to face Yamato and I was surprised to see that he actually looked vaguely hurt.

"Well it's a Monday. You always come to mine on Mondays," he informed me and I kicked myself for not remembering that. Taichi had told me a thousand times before. Every Monday I would forget and ask him where he was going when he didn't take the turning that led to his house and every Monday he would reply that he was going to Yamato's until Yamato had to go to practice.

"Oh yeah! Sorry Yama, I was thinking it was Tuesday today. Of course I'm coming to yours!" I replied cheerfully, doubling back, taking his arm and leading the way enthusiastically. Perhaps it was a little too enthusiastically now that I mention it.

Enthusiastic or not, we made it to Yamato's apartment and crossed the threshold a few minutes later. The air-conditioning hit me like…well like a sudden blast of really cold air I suppose. Yamato dropped his bag on the floor, kicked off his shoes to join the rest of the artistic mess and collapsed on the sofa. 

"Damn, it's hot out there," he sighed as he closed his eyes and folded his arms up behind his head while I hovered awkwardly near the door wondering what to do next. "Do you want a drink?" Yamato asked without moving.

"Yeah. Please," I replied, remembering to be polite just at the last minute.

"Okay," Yamato said but made no effort to get up or even move at all. It wasn't until I'd done a bit more awkward hovering that he propped himself up on one elbow and opened his eyes to look at me. "Well you know where everything is. Help yourself," he informed me calmly.

"Oh right. Sorry." 

"Can you get me a glass of water while you're out there?" Yamato asked sweetly, flashing me an exaggerated pair of puppy eyes that I would never have pictured on his face. 

"Sure," Like I was going to say 'no'.

"Aw thanks." He smiled at me and kissed air, then laid back and closed his eyes while I walked uncertainly into the kitchen and glanced around at the huge collection of cupboards surrounding me in all directions. Let me tell it to you straight, I had no idea where anything was. I had no vague inkling. Not even an inkling, goddammit! Okay…so even I'll admit that it was a kind of dumb thing to worry about, but at the time it did worry me. I mean I had no idea what had caused this wish to be granted or what it would take to suddenly make it un-granted. As far as I knew, even the slightest little thing could trigger everything to end and to be honest with you I was not ready for it to end yet. The thought had occurred to me that at some point I might want my own life back, but it had only been a brief passing thought. I wasn't desperate to go back to that life when I had only just begun to experience this one. Anyway, to cut a long story short, I didn't want to do anything that might suddenly jerk Yamato to the realisation that I wasn't his boyfriend. And I don't think he'd be too happy with me if that happened. 

So…yeah. There were all these cupboards. And I had to go through every one of them before I found the glasses. I turned on the tap (at least that was just right there in the open, I managed to find it alright) and held my hand under the flow of water until it turned as close as it was going to get to being cold. I filled a glass for Yamato and then one for myself. Normally I'd have something slightly more exciting than water but I didn't have the strength for another frantic search in order to find something else. I did check the freezer for ice cubes though and found them in a tray conveniently right at the front. At least something decided to work out nicely.

When I trotted back into the living room, Yamato was sitting up, cross-legged on the sofa and had a book or something in his lap. He'd also undone the top few buttons of his shirt leaving it hanging partly open. Mmm. He didn't look up when I came in and so I made my way over and sat down next to him, placing the glasses carefully on the coffee table in front of us. I'm so proud of not spilling it everywhere. Yes. Go me. The only excess water anywhere in sight were the little drops of condensation that rolled easily down the side of the glasses and pooled on the top of the coffee table in plump little swells. The top of the table was glass too and you could see a load of magazines and old TV guides on the shelf below through the glass. It would have looked like a really classy table if it weren't for all the magazines and stuff. In fact a lot of things looked like that in Yamato's house – kind of classy but with a comfortable edge. The sofa was a dusty navy colour with plump cushions. The material it was covered in was really cool. If you rubbed it one way it was rough and bristly and if you rubbed it the other way it was smooth and silky. That amused me for a while. Rough…smooth…rough…smooth…

But I can only amuse myself silently for so long without a sketchpad or something and so I eventually had to interrupt Yamato to stop myself going insane. I wondered if he always ignored Taichi like this. I'd be surprised if he did.

"What are you reading?" I asked, tilting my head at the same time to try to catch a glimpse of the cover of the book. Yamato blinked and looked up at me, as if surprised to see me there.

"Huh?"

"What are you reading?"

"Oh. Sorry. I tuned you out again, huh?" he asked looking slightly sheepish. I nodded in response and he held up the cover of the book for me to see.

"'Lord of the Flies'?" I read the title, emblazoned across the cover.

"Yeah…I know we studied it last year…but I like it. Reminds me of…stuff." Yamato gave me a significant smile as if there was some private joke or something in the word 'stuff'. Would be helpful if I was in on it. I haven't even read the book so I didn't really stand any kind of understanding. I'm not really that big on books. I'm not saying they're not a good thing or anything, but I've never really found one that I didn't want to put down. I've never come across a book that's made me feel. Art can make me feel, not books. Not that I've read that many to judge on of course…but it's just an opinion I happen to have. I returned Yamato's smile with one of my own and hoped I looked like I got it. Silence fell once more and I was about to break it again when Yamato yawned and stretched both arms above his head, slim muscles flexing and open book still held in one hand. I was taking the opportunity to admire the view when Yamato relaxed again and then proceed to sigh and drape himself out across the sofa. Fair enough. If he wants to lie down…good for him. Only, it meant that his head was placed casually in my lap. Perhaps…not so good for me. Having made himself comfortable, lying on his back and with one arm trailing on the floor, Yamato brought the book up to convenient eye height and continued to read, oblivious to any kind of discomfort or panic being felt by the other party.

And you must be able to see how this could definitely be panic inducing. I mean come on now…the sex symbol of the school, the wet dream of half the student body, lying with his head in my lap. In fact, I think it qualifies as more than panic inducing. We had, ladies and gentlemen, a very dangerous, potentially code red situation on our hands.

But it's weird though…because although it was potentially code red…it never made it past it's potential stage. After a few minutes, I realised that it was still silent, Yamato's head was still in my lap and nothing terrible had happened. There was nothing except the gentle sound of his rhythmic breathing mingling with the gush of the air-conditioner. It wasn't long before I was confident that the threat had been almost completely eliminated and I cautiously lifted a hand to brush my fingertips through Yamato's hair. I've wanted to do that for a while now. He sighed and leaned into my touch, and I almost went into a panic all over again at getting a reaction. Can I just spoil the mood totally for a second to point out that I'm not normally this nervy and cowardly. Honestly. See, I'm fine with most things…heights, high speeds, scary animals, insects…all those things that lots of people are scared of. I can deal with all that fine. It's all good. The one thing that I am just really crap at though, is relationships. Intimate stuff. It scares the shit out of me. I might come over all cocky and self-assured, but I'm really not. If anything, I'm too cocky and self-assured to cover the fact that I'm scared as all get out. It's so unpredictable. And there's nothing to tell you that you're doing things wrong until after you've done them and it's too late. 

That's probably why I've never had a proper girlfriend. Boyfriend. Whatever. I've never even had a proper kiss. There's been the occasional peck but nothing heavy. I'm sure stupid TK is more experienced than me, which isn't really something to be proud of…I wouldn't be surprised if Iori was more experienced than me. Stupid Iori.

Anyway so there we were on the sofa. His head, my lap, me stroking his hair absently. Aw idyllic huh? 

"Yamato?" I asked finally, feeling comfortable enough to start up conversation again.

"Mm?" came the sleepy response.

"Who's your idol?"

"What?"

"Your idol. Who's your idol?" I repeated thoughtfully as the hand with Yamato's book in it dropped lazily to his chest and his eyes flicked upwards to look at me.

"My idol?" Yamato paused for a moment, thinking. "I don't know," he said finally, "I don't think I have one."

Aha. Just as I had expected. Give the boy a prize.

"You must have an idol," I continued, really just for the sake of making conversation, "and if you don't, pick somebody you admire just to humour me." Yamato smiled a bit at that and glanced back down at his hand resting on his chest."

"Okay then…Kurt Cobain. He can be my idol."

"The singer?"

"The one and only."

"Good choice," I replied, not really knowing anything about the guy myself. I'd have to make an effort to get to know. "Wasn't he the one that killed himself?"

"Yeah."

"Why would you want an idol who committed suicide?" I mused aloud and Yamato didn't reply. "I mean…you're not suicidal are you?" It was a random comment. I always just say whatever comes into my head. It's gotten me into trouble more than once. It was rhetorical, so I was surprised when I got an answer.

"Not anymore. You know that, Dai. What did have to bring it up again for?" 

That threw me. A lot.

"What?"

"I'm okay now." 

"Oh…well…I know but…"

"It was a long time ago."

"Yeah…um…I know that too." Yamato was silent again, leaving me to turn this new information over in my head. I suppose I should have just left it alone. But it's kind of hard to just ignore something like that. So of course, I had to make just one more comment. "If that's true though…why do you still idolise someone who killed themselves?" Yamato sighed.

"I don't know."

"Maybe you should get a new idol then." I didn't get a response to that either and I figured that I must have pissed him off, because Yamato simply lifted the book and started reading again without another word. I mean there's nothing wrong with idolising someone who killed himself, but it just seems kind of a bad idea for someone previously suicidal to strive to be like one of the most famous people ever to commit suicide. It's not just me, is it? It sounds kind of worrying to you too, right? 

It gave me something to think about there, too. Because it was a possible imperfection. A problem. Some little smear on the flawless surface of Taichi and Yamato's relationship. If Yamato had ever been suicidal, I wondered when it had been, what had caused it, and why I hadn't noticed. Surely that's the kind of thing that people notice, right? Or perhaps it isn't…as I've probably mentioned before, I'm generally a happy person. I don't really know what it feels like to be depressed. Perhaps it isn't that noticeable. 

"Ralph." Yamato's quiet voice shattered the silence suddenly.

"What did you say?" I asked, thinking I had perhaps misheard, being too wrapped up in my musings.

"Ralph. From the book." Yamato held his copy of Lord of the Flies up. "I think he's going to be my new idol."

"Yeah? Why?" I had no ideas who the characters were. I didn't even know that there was a Ralph in it.

"Because. He's the only one who didn't conform. He's the only one who didn't abandon himself to go with society. Because he kept fighting. And he did it while still keeping his dignity and his status in the readers' eyes even though he lost it all in the story."

"Oh." I wished I'd read the book to be able to agree. Yamato's eyes flicked back up to mine and he smiled.

"As opposed to Simon who was just insane."

I returned the smile, not knowing what else to do since I still had no idea who the characters were. Yamato's eyes lingered on mine for a minute and just as I could feel myself beginning to get uncomfortable again, he sat up and his eyes strayed above mine. 

"You can already see that bruise," he muttered and it took me a minute to remember the whole smashing my head thing. That morning already seemed like it was days ago. His fingers trailed up my cheek and across my forehead and I found myself short of breath at the gentle touch. "It's going to be nasty by tomorrow. Try not to smash it again in the morning, okay?" Yamato asked with a smile.

"Yeah. I'll try," I replied, my voice not entirely steady.

"Good." Then he kissed me. It's weird, because I saw it coming, I knew he was going to do it, and yet I was still surprised by it. It wasn't sloppy and open-mouthed, nor was it just a perfunctory brush of lips against lips. It was something in between, lingering enough to be meaningful, not passionate enough to lead into anything. No tongues, no groping, just his hand on my chin and his lips against mine.

After that, he lay back down and started reading again, but this time aloud. I stayed there, listening to his mellow voice until it was time for Yamato's band practice and I had to make my way back to Taichi's house. When I got there, I dug around in Taichi's drawers until I found his dog-eared, pencil-marked copy of the book and sat reading it for what was left of the evening.

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A/N: Review! Review! It makes Dai-chan and I happy. 


	4. Artistic Temperament

Hero Worship

Part Four

+ Natsu +

A/N: Am feeling kind of down right now…light-hearted fics are not the easiest thing to write. But I've drugged myself up on chocolate and there actually seems to be some sunshine today so I'm making an effort to finish this chapter before the sun goes away and there's nothing left to keep me going. I'm also having problems with this fic because I think that Daisuke's character comes less naturally to me. Plus the fact that my muses are rebelling against the idea of me writing anything vaguely Daito. Every time I write 'Daisuke', I want to randomly change it to 'Taichi', which would of course eliminate the whole point of the story.

Alright, one more QUICK note before I let you actually read the damn chapter – I have a tendency to throw original characters into everything I write (remember Marie from London Rain???). This is just because I love making up my own characters. I am happy to keep writing fanfiction as long I'm allowed to indulge in original characters. So I apologise in advance for them, but I figure that Yamato's band would be more prominent in his life at this point than most of the DDs would be. I like them anyway…*hugs Sumi & Tomo* 

For syrupjunkie! Whose incessant nagging has forced me off of my lazy arse to finish this chapter! ^^ (Okay...so maybe not quite INCESSANT...as...such...but he may have made a vague passing comment about it…somewhere…)

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Yamato was right about the bruise. It had turned nasty. Flared up with a vengeance. I stood in front of Taichi's bathroom mirror, peering at the purplish smudge on my left temple. I moved my fingers over it gently, watching as the careful probing of my fingertips sent flashes of pain wincing across my face. It hurt. Stupid bruise. But never mind. I fall over a lot and get kicked around all the time in soccer games so I'm pretty used to bruises. I was also starting to get pretty used to being in Tai's house. It's pretty cool how quickly people are able to adapt to changes in environment and stuff. 

I plodded down the hall to the kitchen having been forced out of the bathroom by Tai's Dad banging on the door and claiming that he would be late for work if I didn't get out of there right this second. Kari was sitting at the breakfast table, kicking her feet and chewing mechanically as she hummed along to ABBA playing from a radio on the counter. Tai's Mum was a devoted fan, apparently. I remember Taichi always used to walk to school with ABBA songs stuck in his head after a morning's medley from his mother's radio. She turned round and smiled at me as I walked in, flinging a tea towel deftly over her shoulder. 

"Morning Dai," she said and I was impressed that she called me by my name and not 'sweetie' or 'darling' like my mother would do. If she called me anything that is. Probably because she can't remember my actual name and finds meaningless pet names are the safest option.

"What on earth did you do to your head?" she asked, before I had even replied to her greeting. Her slender hands, asserted themselves on her hips as she narrowed her eyes to peer at my injury. "Did somebody hit you?" she asked and I got the feeling that if I had answered 'yes', she'd have been out on the street and hunting them down in no time. When I told her that I'd hit it on the bed, she laughed at me, good-naturedly called me a fool and handed me a bowl of oatmeal.

"Eat up," she ordered firmly, before turning back to making coffee and singing along to the radio in a pleasant, if slightly off-key, voice.

* * *

I was just about ready and presentable when the doorbell rang. I stepped out of Tai's bedroom and was nearly bowled over by Kari, who dashed down the hall to fling the front door open. TK smiled at her from the doorstep.

"Hi!" she beamed cheerfully, stepping aside so TK could come in while she gathered her bag together and tied her laces. Anyone would think that she was actually eager to get to school. 

"Anyone would think that you actually want to get to school," a familiar smooth voice echoed my thoughts and Yamato raised an eyebrow as he watched Kari with amusement. I could suddenly feel Kari-like eagerness bubbling inside me as he looked up and met my eyes. 

"Hi!" I said, mentally slapping myself for sounding like a love struck schoolgirl and wandered over, to jam my feet into my own shoes and snag my bag from its place on the hall floor.

"Hey," Yamato replied, glancing briefly over my shoulder before kissing me fleetingly on the cheek. I took his hesitation as a sign that it wasn't something that Taichi's parents were supposed to see. Oh joy, something else to remember. But a kiss is a kiss and I'm not complaining.

"Bye Mum! See you later!" Kari called without bothering to check if she had been heard or not, and ushered everyone out the door so that she could close it behind us. 

TK and Kari chatted happily amongst themselves as we started the walk to school and I strolled leisurely along beside Yamato, enjoying the sunshine and listening to his talk about his band. I made the decision the night before that today I would put into action my plan of re-building my friendship with Ken. I like to have a project to work on. Gives me that sense of doing something worthwhile. Ken himself always used to tell me that if I put as much effort into my schoolwork as I did into my 'projects', I'd be a straight A student. Well this time he got to be focus of the project himself. Isn't he lucky? According to TK, he had spent the night at Tai's and we were going to meet him at what had once been my apartment building. That was good. It gave me some time to plan what I was going to say to him.  

When we reached my apartment building, I felt a little twinge of regret as I pictured Tai rushing around my room and gathering my things together, in the frantic whirlwind of a school morning. I wondered if all my posters were in the same places. I wondered if he threw his dirty clothes on the same chair. I wondered if he'd eaten Poptarts for breakfast. As crappy as it might have seemed at times, it was still my life and I didn't like the idea of it being completely messed up. Not that I didn't trust Tai not to mess it up or anything. I mean I don't think he could mess it up any more than I already had done. Hell, he might even be able to build on the confused remains I had left him.

The two younger (and shorter!) boys were already waiting for us outside and I threw Ken my most friendly and charming smile as we approached. Operation: regain childhood friendship, in action.

"Hey!" Tai called, adjusting his bag on his shoulder and walking up with a spring in his step and a light in his eyes that nobody should have so early in the morning. Ken trailed after him watching me suspiciously as I smiled and waved at him cheerfully. 

"Hi Ken," I said as soon as he was close enough.

"Um hi," Ken returned, sticking close to Tai as he spoke. He always used to do that to me. Stay close when we were around people he didn't know or wasn't comfortable with. That was fine. I knew how Ken worked. If you don't come on strong enough, he'll ignore you and if you come on too strong you'll scare him. It's just like flirting. Not that my flirting has ever got me anywhere…but I have plenty of friends so I must be doing something right. Anyway. I kept my distance. But he had returned my greeting, politely making eye contact. And while we still had eye contact, I could press the advantage and spring conversation on him before he started talking to someone else. Oh I could so be a military general or something. Motomiya Daisuke, Command and Control, reporting for duty, SIR!

"Have fun last night?" I asked him, noting absently that everyone had started walking, and following suit.

"What do you mean by that?" Ken asked quickly, glancing at me out of the corner of his eye and falling into step beside me automatically.

"Last night. At Tai's. Did you have a good time?" I repeated patiently. Ken gets suspicious over the most random comments.

"Yes." 

"Good." I wasn't surprised at getting a monosyllabic response. I knew when I accepted the mission that it would be up to me to fuel the conversation. "Do you have practice today?"

"No. Tomorrow." I knew that. You think I didn't know that?

"Cool. Hey so, have you finished that project yet?"

"No."

"What's that about anyway?"

"It's complicated…" Ken trailed off in a 'Please stop talking to me now' kind of way, and glanced at Tai for help, who was trotting ahead of us, speaking animatedly to an impassive Yamato, completely ignorant to Ken's plight.

"And I wouldn't understand, right?" I grinned. He was going to talk to me whether he liked it or not. 

"I didn't say that. I just…" Ken looked at me and then seemed to realise that he had and looked away again quickly. 

"Can't be bothered to explain it all? Sick to death of the whole thing? Ready to climb to the top of a tower block and threaten to jump until the world agrees to change the laws of mathematics to fit your formulas?" 

Ken's lips twisted into half a smile at that one.

"Something like that."

I was pleased to have even got that far. Half a smile after only a few exchanged words. Pretty sharp. Still got it. So anyway. I've learnt from experience that it's almost always better to quit while you're ahead when it comes to people and I was pleased with myself to have even gotten a reaction. So I gave him his peace and shut up talking to him.

"How is everything going for you?" I nearly tripped over my feet when he asked that. It confuses me beyond belief when people stray from the things that I expect from them. I know how to deal with people providing they don't do anything spontaneous and unexpected. Ken was being spontaneous in showing even vague interest in my…Tai's…life.

"What?" I asked automatically. Standard response when something surprises me. Ken looked at me uncertainly, suddenly losing confidence in his ability to continue a conversation.

"How is everything? You know like with…life or…" he trailed off, watching me out of the corner of his eye.

"Oh. Sorry. Yeah, it's good. Great. Yeah. I mean because yeah, not that it's suddenly like any better than it was before. It's always been pretty good really. For me I mean. Guess I was just lucky or something. Lucky to have been able to have a good life not lucky to just be given one or anything because…" I stammered out quickly thinking that he was making a reference to the fact that it wasn't actually my own life that was going well for me and suddenly feeling guilt swell within me. Ken's just too damn smart for his own good...you just have no way of knowing exactly how much he's managed to work out about stuff. It's impossible to keep secrets from him because he seems to just magically know without having to be told. It's weird. Of course then I realised that I sounded like an idiot and coughed self-consciously, my cheeks starting to heat up. "It's fine thanks," I finished simply. 

Ken gave me an odd look and didn't try to talk to me again for the rest of the walk.

The morning was otherwise pretty uneventful. We were lectured in homeroom about our upcoming exams and I had a brief panic as I realised that I could be the one doing Taichi's scary external exams. Yes. Fun for all the family. But I don't like to let things like that bother me. Won't think about it until the time comes. For now, I concentrated on dealing with stupid Mr. Furusawa and his stupid mocking 'Ha look at you all, I bet you all fail' glares. I have a tendency to answer back and speak my mind, retaliate when there isn't actually anything to retaliate to, so I decided the best bet would be to just stare furiously at the desk in front of me and ignore him. Pretty good plan, I thought, safe and easy. Yamato on the other hand met Furusawa's glare with his own. It was of a cold intensity that I would not like to be on the receiving end of.

I had Sociology first thing after homeroom and then Maths where I heard more about exams and was introduced to some scary theorem full of fractions and weird symbols. I swear, maths is like this whole different language. The board might as well have been covered in Spanish for all I could understand. I wondered if it was too late to change some of Taichi's subjects. Maths would be the first to go and Biology wouldn't be far behind. Then I could take Art. Hooray! There's nothing like getting yourself smeared with paint and paste to calm down after a run-in with a nasty page of algebra. 

There was break time, which I spent talking to Yamato and Koushiro, who appeared out of nowhere having just had Physics. I'm beginning to wonder if this whole 'people appearing randomly out of thin air' thing is actually just me never paying attention and not noticing people walking up. I had PE after break, which was theory and kind of boring. But after that it was my favourite period of the day.

I brought my lunch from the cafeteria and trotted outside with it, looking for someone friendly to eat with. I almost sat down when I saw Ken and Miyako eating in our usual spot, but remembered in time that trying to be friendly with my old friends only got me weird looks and nervous smiles. I kept walking and eventually spotted Yamato sitting with Sumi and that other guy from the band, Tomo I think his name was. They all smiled warmly as I slid into the seat next to Yamato.

I suppose that in retrospect what I did next wasn't really the most intelligent thing that I could have possibly done at the time, all things considered. But I generally do not think before I do things. You have to take risks right? I mean how dull would life be if you thought carefully about every tiny little thing before you did it? Thinking before you do things? Nah...complete waste of time. It's certainly never gotten me anywhere anyway. I expect it had something to do with sitting down surrounded by the cool crowd of the upper school. Power rush. It goes to your head. There was Sumi sitting there and grinning perkily and Tomo with his funny sarcastic smile and of course Yamato who looked every bit as delicious as he had done that morning. The girls on the next table were watching enviously as I took my seat next to Yamato and one of the strikers from the team clapped me on the shoulder as he passed. And boy did it go suddenly to my head. It was just this mad rush of insane happiness that I get sometimes and it makes everything seem perfect, like I'm suddenly invincible. In reality it just makes me cocky.

I leaned over and pressed a miniscule kiss to Yamato's cheek in greeting. Next thing I knew, I was having to grab the table to save myself from falling out of my seat and my drink was hurling itself out of its container in a spurt of orange. Sumi squealed and leapt up from the table as if struck suddenly by some rare phobia of flying orange soda and Tomo's eyes widened in a way that would have been amusing if it weren't for the fact that suddenly there was nothing amusing about the situation. At all. You know how there are like, feelings in the air? Well perhaps you don't, perhaps that's just me being weird. But I always think that there's a certain atmosphere in the air that lets you know what the people around you are thinking. It helps you avoid getting punched because you can work out when people are getting pissed off with you and stuff. Anyway, it was just like the atmosphere took an abrupt one-eighty and all the good cheer was sucked away along with my soda as it ran calmly through the wooden slats of the table and onto the concrete below.

It took me a moment to realise that I hadn't just lost balance and nearly fallen over like a total dork, and that in fact it had been Yamato, who had shoved me quite violently away the second my lips touched his cheek. As I was busy saving myself from splattering my head on the concrete and panicking that I had finally been found out and that Yamato was just having some kind of severely delayed reaction, I vaguely noticed that the same girls who had previously been staring enviously were now watching with excited interest and whispering to one another in a worrying way. 

Yamato's attention was focused on them as I finally sorted myself out and he was smiling award-winningly. 

"Ignore him. He thinks he's being funny," he said, rolling his eyes and a few of them giggled in understanding. "Just go back to your lunches. Best not to encourage him," he added conspiratorially and checked that their attention was diverted before hissing at me, "What the hell did you think you were doing?"

Did I ever mention that if someone challenges me, I always get this unquenchable urge to retaliate viciously? And that 'stick up for yourself' instinct basically overrides everything. Even hormones.

"Well I thought I was kissing my boyfriend," I replied sharply, feeling proud that I was able to meet Yamato's heated blue glare and resist the urge to cringe away.

"In public?!" From the alarmed tone of Yamato's voice, you'd have thought it had been something far worse than a kiss on the cheek. I think I was pretty surprised by that. I mean Yamato had always seemed to be so cool and laid-back about that kind of thing. But I suppose that if I'd actually stopped to think about it for a second (yeah right), I might have twigged that if the relationship was currently being kept a secret from parents, it was probably a safe bet that it was also being kept secret from complete strangers. Or, from fellow students that you had to face every single day at school. And if I had been able to think really hard, I might have noticed that I had barely ever seen Taichi and Yamato so much as touch one another when they were at school. But, lacking the ability to actually ever think when I need to, instead I asked a question that had a very obvious answer.

"Is your reputation really so important to you?"

Yamato snorted in response. "Yes. What? And yours isn't?"

"Of course not!"

"Well that's funny because that's not what you've been telling me." 

"I have never told you that."

Yamato's eyebrows lifted about a foot in the air. "I can't believe you can just look me straight in the eye and lie like that." 

"I'm not lying!"

"I can tell when you're lying."

"But I'm not!" I was suddenly feeling ready to hit something. Really hard.

"Hey come on! Easy does it, huh?" Tomo's careful voice cut in before Yamato could reply with the nasty remark that you could practically see brewing behind his eyes. He turned sulkily away and pouted to himself instead. 

Sumi was dancing around behind Tomo making little whiny noises and pulling her shirt away from her stomach to stare at the tiny trail of orange specks spattered over the surface.

"Way to go Dai!" she snapped, "You've juiced my new shirt! Do you have any idea how long this took to make?"

"It wasn't his fault," Tomo said patiently, sounding as though he was used to this kind of situation. 

"Yes it was. He should know by now that Yamato is a moody bitch and that you should just leave him well alone." Sumi dropped the hem of her shirt to glare over the table at an impassive Yamato. Yamato opened his mouth to reply but Tomo cut in before him, lazily righting my now empty cup as he did so.

"He is not a moody bitch. He is a tortured artist. Right Yama?" He raised one messy ginger eyebrow jokingly at Yamato, trying to lighten the mood.

"Sure. Why the hell not?"

"There you go. Now sit down Sumi, your shirt still looks lovely. It's covered in paint splatters for God's sake, you can't even tell that the orange isn't supposed to be there," Tomo ordered and Sumi complied, grumbling as she did so, "And Dai, just leave Yamato and his artistic temperament today. He's cranky because he had a run-in with the music teacher."

"Fucking bastard," Yamato contributed bitterly, no sign of what had now been termed his 'artistic' pout disappearing. It actually looked kind of sexy to be honest. I always wondered if there was a reason that Taichi and Yamato had so many clashes.

"Oh really?" It was Sumi's turn to raise an eyebrow. I really wish that I could do that. I've always wanted to. I tried to see if I could do it in the bathroom mirror this morning while examining my bruise but I could only manage to screw up one half of my face like I had some kind of weird facial tick. I guess that Tai can't raise just one eyebrow either. 

"Yeah but don't ask about it," Tomo answered for Yamato, whose face had darkened at Sumi's curiosity. "He'll probably bite your head off. Let's all just calmly eat our meals okay? I plan to actually get through my next lesson without starving to death." 

I shrugged and reached for my fork, happy to go along with the eating plan. Eating is never bad. Rocks my world. 

Silence reigned for a few minutes, while we ate (or while Sumi, Tomo and I ate and Yamato sulked) before I noticed that Sumi was staring quizzically at me, chewing thoughtfully.

"What?" I asked, automatically smoothing my hair back with one hand.

"What did you do to your head?" she asked after swallowing.

"Huh? What do you mean?" 

"Your head. You've got a bitch of a bruise there," Tomo supplied for her, "I noticed earlier but I thought that it might be rude to ask about it..." he sent Sumi a pointed look, who stuck her tongue out in response.  

"There's nothing wrong with asking," she said simply and then looked to me for an answer.

"I...er...hit it on the bed," I mumbled. It's embarrassing alright? Nearly knocking yourself senseless just trying to get out of bed. Sumi gave me a sympathetic look for a moment before he face curved into a knowing smirk and she looked mischievously at the still sulking Yamato.

"Oh I see..." she drawled, voice laden with suggestiveness, "got a little over enthusiastic did we?" 

"Shut up Sumi," Yamato replied promptly, not lifting his eyes.

Sumi winked at me. "Is he being rough with you Dai? Poor baby."

"Surely not," Tomo said, aghast, "Super-star jock Daisuke being beaten up by the school's resident femme fatale?"

Yamato's eyebrow quirked.

"I don't even have so much as the chance to stand up for myself," I began in a long-suffering voice, happy to play along in the all too fun role of the tragic victim. Providing Yamato didn't get violent again, "to be fair, he's a hell of a lot stronger than he looks." I remembered hearing Taichi saying that once. Can't knock a little authenticity, can you? 

Sumi snorted.

"Oh I find that hard to believe," she said haughtily throwing Yamato a challenging look. He must have been able to feel it or something because he looked up and met her eyes.

"Want me to prove it?" he asked, lips curving.

"Yamato no! You're such a bully!" I wailed and received a good-natured elbow in the side from Yamato. But at least now he was smiling.

It seems that he's one of those people who just can't seem to consistently stay in one mood. By the time lunch was over, he was laughing and talking animatedly about his music project. It must be so cool to have something that you're so utterly devoted to. I don't really think I have anything like that. Maybe I should start looking. Anyway...I think that, all things considered, I was able to keep up pretty well with Yamato's quicksilver moods. So when Sumi and Tomo picked up their trays and left with careless promises that they would speak to us later, I wasn't really all that surprised that Yamato caught my sleeve when I started to follow suit. He looked at me, suddenly serious. I swear, sometimes he is so intense that it's scary.

"I'm sorry about that you know Dai," he said honestly.

"Hey, don't be. It was my fault anyway." I guess it wasn't really...but almost every time I look at Yamato, I get this vague sense that he needs reassurance. 

"No it wasn't," he says, reading my mind, "I really am sorry. I know I'm not the easiest person to deal with...or the most stable." He smiled as he said that. But I'm not good with reading between the lines, so who knows?

"It's not a problem, honest." 

"I'll make it up to you. Promise," he persisted.

"Sure okay. But only if it will get you off my case." And I almost leaned over to kiss him again before I stood up, but I caught myself just in time. 

We walked back to homeroom and sat through another five minutes of that bastard teacher before the bell freed us from his evil clutches. As I was trotting happily off to my second sociology lesson of the day, Yamato grabbed my sleeve again. Why people feel the need to do that, I don't know.

"Hey...you have a free period after this, right?" he said, and you could practically see the cogs turning in his head as he said it.

"Um...yeah, I think so. Why?" I asked suspiciously, seeing something unnerving and unfamiliar dancing in his eyes.

"Oh no reason." Yamato shrugged lightly and grinned at me before turning and heading in the opposite direction. 

Yep...there was definitely something about that grin that I didn't like.

A/N: OKAY! So that wasn't the most exciting of chapters! So sue me (oh no wait...the phrase I'm looking for is 'please DON'T sue me...'). But I promise promise promise that I'll make it up to you next time. And my word is as good as Yama's. And remember kids...reviews make Natsu happy and keep her writing! You want to make Natsu happy. Right?


	5. The Janitor's Closet

Hero Worship

Part Five

+ Natsu +

A/N: A shorter, but hopefully more interesting chapter. Mm. I'm going to try to finish this fic soon before I launch into my next year of schoolwork. And I expect that it might end up being my last Digimon fic. The fandom doesn't really interest me any more...I'll always love Tai and Yama but I think I'm ready to write new things. Perhaps I'll just write a nice one-shot to wrap things up though. Course I have a tendency to go back on absolutely everything I say, so chances are, I'll have ten new Digimon fics up and running this time next week. Just give me your opinions, feedback or suggestions and we'll see how it goes.

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It's weird actually, because I've always wanted to go in the janitor's closet. Just because it's something I've never done. I mean, the number of times I have been sent to fetch him to clean up some mess I've managed to make and simply had to stand outside while he muttered hatefully to himself and laboriously gathered together his mop and bucket. Then he would glare at me and slam the door pointedly behind him. 'This is my space, you are not worthy to even look in it', his eyes would say. Really friendly guy was our janitor. He would move around the school at lunchtime, patrolling and carrying a sinister broom over one shoulder. But now I've been in his private little cupboard. Score to me.

Thing is, I expect that I'll have to go in there again sometime because I didn't really see any of it when I went in there the first time. It was dark; I could have barely seen anything anyway, unless of course I had managed to find a light switch. Then there was the fact that there was a minor little completely huge and enormous distraction, which kept me from noticing anything around me.

I was walking calmly down the hall after Sociology, wondering normal things about what I was going to be eating for dinner tonight, what exactly you were supposed to do during a free period and what the hell I had done with Taichi's Biology textbook. There were students everywhere, moving on autopilot towards their last taxing lesson of the day. A sharp whistle caught my ear suddenly and caused half a dozen other students to glance round, jerked suddenly from their thoughts of homework and exams. Yamato grinned at me. He was leaning against a wall, hands thrust in his pockets and I doubled back to reach him. Every one else went back to their steady trawl.

"Alright?" I asked, as soon as I was near enough. Yamato lifted one shoulder in a half-shrug of a response. I noticed that what he was leaning against was actually not a wall at all, but a door. The all too familiar door to the janitor's closet. "Did you want something?" I asked when he didn't say anything.

"Waiting for the halls to clear out," he said simply.

"Oh. Right..."

And clear out they did, as students trailed into classrooms and doors closed behind them.

"So...what are we doing out here then?" I asked. Yamato just smiled again in that way that I didn't like. It was almost a smirk. Kind of the way a villain smiles in a movie right before he pushes the red button to blow up the world. He reached behind him and grasped the doorknob, the door clicking open as he did so. Which was weird because the janitor always locks the door to guard against nasty sticky little students. For a moment I wondered if Yamato had the same burning ambition that I had to get in there, spray paint the walls and break that stupid broom of his into a million pieces. 

"Did he leave it unlocked?" I asked in disbelief.

"No."

"Oh...so...right." Figures somehow that Yamato would be able to pick a lock. When he actually managed to do it of course, I don't know. Glancing around in a careless manner, almost as if he really didn't care whether or not anyone saw and was only doing it for principal, Yamato stepped backwards into the gloom of the closet, holding the door for me. I stood and stared at him.

"Well come on then," he said with vague impatience and I took that as my cue to venture forwards, inside. 

"What if he comes back?" I asked Yamato, taking a moment to glance around, allowing my eyes to become adjusted to the dim light.

"He won't. He has the afternoon off on Tuesdays," was my reply as Yamato closed the door behind me.

There was a square, grubby little skylight in the roof, holding up a dingy beam of sunlight at the centre of the closet. They call it a closet but it's more like a very small room. The lucky Janitor gets a desk in here and everything. Tiny particles of dust danced lazily in the selective light and the rest of the room was draped in concealing shadow. The bare floorboards creaked under my feet. There was almost something mystical about the whole place, it was mystical in a sinister kind of way, like walking into an old fortune-teller's shop full of crystal balls and withered hands. Not that I've ever been in a fortune-teller's shop, but I do have a TV you know. The whole place smelled of dust and pine cleaner.

I turned back to look at Yamato, I think I was going to make some comment about the fortune teller thing and just make myself look really uncool in front of him, but something in his expression stopped me from saying anything. He stepped forward, the light from the ceiling spilling over half his face in a cheerful, indulgent way, as if delighted to have something significantly more beautiful to highlight than a patch of dusty floorboards. He kept walking until we were face to face, the movement causing the sunlight to slip off his face and over his shoulder. I guess I had some kind of vague feeling of what might be about to happen but I still almost squeaked in shock when he placed his palm flat against my chest and pushed me slowly backwards until my back touched the wall.

It's not like I've NEVER been kissed before, okay? But just not properly. Well no, I mean it was properly but not...it had never been anything like big and meaningful before. Okay, the night before. The nice little kiss on the sofa? That I could handle. But honestly, I don't think that anything has ever scared me more than Yamato did there in the janitor's closet, with the sunlight glowing behind him and one hand on my chest. He is fucking scary, alright? I have seen all kinds of weird shit and none of that ever scared me so bad. And don't even TRY to tell me he isn't if you've never been on the receiving end of his 'come to bed' eyes. Well, I guess not 'come to bed' because there are no beds in janitor's closets. At least not at our school there aren't. I mean, I guess that maybe perhaps in some schools, rich schools, where there are lots of janitors. There might be beds there. But anyway, he looks at you and it's all just like suddenly there in his eyes. All the desire and passion and sexuality that has ever existed. All of it. Think what Antony must have seen when Cleopatra looked at him. Or that, what's-her-face, from American Beauty. Damn, I know I know her name...she's on my wall...

When he kissed me this time, it was nothing like the night before. This was hungry and demanding and sudden and fast and dizzying. I got the feeling that perhaps if my eyes had been open, I wouldn't have been able to focus on anything. His tongue tangled heavily with mine and his hands etched their way fluidly between the spikes of my hair. It was like drowning in champagne, being smothered by the finest silk sheets. My knees were weak and my own lips felt clumsy and inexperienced (as I guess they were) beneath his. It didn't seem to matter to him though – he could kiss good enough for the both of us.

He tore his lips suddenly from mine, giving me chance to indulge in a little breathing and continued his kisses along my chin and down my neck, his teeth coaxing what would no doubt be a series of painfully obvious marks. At the same time, I could feel his graceful fingers flicking open the buttons on my shirt with teasing slowness. His hair smelled of lemon and camomile (a smell I recognise from Jun's blonde period – don't ask) and everything was silent save for the gentle noise of Yamato's mouth and my slightly less than stable breathing. It was one of the most surreal experiences of my life. The slanting golden light, quiet shadows and the gentle warmth of the heating pipes running behind the walls made for a wonderfully romantic setting. But then there was also the fact that there were mops and buckets and stuff arranged in meticulous order around the room, which made it painfully obvious that it was really just a dingy little janitor's closet and not some rustic romantic hideaway. That knowledge just totally spoilt everything so I made the decision to just close my eyes again and ignore it.

Thing is though, with my eyes closed and nothing to look at to distract me, I always accidentally start thinking about things. Yeah, I know it's stupid. So sue me. I can't help it. So I got to thinking there in the janitor's closet about how there were probably lots of reasons out there why I should not be finding myself in this situation. The fact that I'm technically only fifteen and still horribly inexperienced, for example. Or the fact that I should really be devoting my energy to recreating my friendship with Ken. Or even the fact that Yamato was technically not my boyfriend. Technicalities, who needs them? Not me. Except one. And to be honest it bothered me enough to make my eyes snap open when I thought of it. 

Janitor's closet. School. People. PEOPLE.

Fuck.

I half-heartedly reached up to catch Yamato's shoulders, trying to lean further back into the solid wall to escape his kisses.

"Yamato," I said, annoyed that my voice sounded more like a needy whine than the sharp authority that I had been going for. His eyes flicked up to catch mine anyway, pupils dilated and irises fiery even through the cold blue. 

"Mm?" he purred and I found that I could barely remember what it was that I needed to say whilst trapped in his gaze. He looked gorgeous and deliciously wanton, like someone from a porno film – sluttishly accessible but at the same time totally unattainable.

"I...," I began, trying to work out what word I wanted to say next, "we're...in…a janitor's closet," I said eventually and he smirked affectionately leaning forward to nuzzle my ear.

"No shit Sherlock," he murmured against the curve of my ear before placing a gentle kiss there. I almost groaned out loud as I felt his fingers dance over the front of my pants and then up to the waistband. 

"But...there's people out there..." I tried to nod in the direction of the door without actually being able to remember properly where the door actually was.

"Then you'll just have to keep quieter than usual, won't you babe?" came the husky reply next to my ear.

"But...ah!" I caught his hand suddenly as it flicked open the button at the top of my pants. "Yamato, someone might walk in and see us!" I finally managed to say in a panicky kind of voice. I felt suddenly sober at hearing that thought voiced. As if I'd just snapped out of a hazy trance or something. Yamato leaned away slightly to stare at me again. His whole face seemed to glow with lust and passion.

"You think I don't know that?" he asked breathlessly, "Dai that's the whole point!" The fingers of the hand I still held twisted and laced between mine, as his other hand slipped to my hip, pulling me away from the wall and against him as if we were dancing a feverish tango. It sent the energy of a hundred pairs of Spanish shoes charging through me. "Anyone could walk in at any second and..." he trailed off breathily and tossed his head back in hopeless desire, as if the mere thought of it was enough for him. When he looked at me again, it was his eyes that were hazy and his voice that wasn't quite steady. Feral strands of blonde hair hung in exotic disarray around his face and his lips were flushed with the heat of his own kisses.

"Just think what could happen if we were caught..." 

I didn't know what the fuck to do. Here was Yamato, his expression begging something of me and me not knowing quite what it was. I felt pathetically inadequate. I couldn't even begin to match the fire he seemed to hold within him. My respect for Taichi went up yet another notch, that was for sure.

Obviously sensing that I was not going to make any kind of move to further things on my own, Yamato made a noise somewhere between arousal and frustration at the back of his throat as he tilted his head to seal his lips harshly with mine. His elegant fingers threw the white cotton that still hung around me roughly away from my shoulders and then ran down my sides, his touch seeming to sink through muscle and flesh, reaching my very bones.

The door creaked open in a harsh noise that shattered the atmosphere.

I felt my heart drop into my stomach. Yamato seemed to snap instantly away from me, his face a mask of composure, as if he'd practised this. I was all too aware of the presence of another person in the little room as I scrambled to get my shirt back on again, which was really a waste of time as whoever it was would have already been able to take in my state of complete disarray and my uneven breathing.

"Shit. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to...interrupt..." Taichi's amused voice came from the figure in the doorway.

"Tai?!" I asked, panicked, the thought occurring to me that technically he had just caught me making out with his boyfriend, and at the same time relieved that it wasn't a teacher or somebody.

"Yeah...man, you guys…" he stepped in and closed the door quickly behind him to protect against any more unwanted visitors. "Talk about kinks. What are you doing in here?" I was aware of Yamato standing a safe distance away from me as I buttoned my shirt up almost sheepishly.

"What's it to you?" Yamato said from the shadows. Taichi shrugged, smirking a little.

"I might want to come watch next time," he joked, glancing with distracted interest around the room before his gaze settled on Yamato again, who stepped forward, back into the glow of the sunlight, almost as if it was a conscious act. He knew how flattering that light was on his pale skin.

"I never give free shows. Not even for friends," he said, a look of false hostility on his features as he tilted his head haughtily.

"Damn," Taichi said. "Well, you could always sell tickets. Make a fortune." He broke into a grin. "I could be your agent!" 

"No. We're good thanks." Yamato folded his arms.

"Aw, you sure?" 

"Yes."

"Fine. Your loss, blondie," Taichi said good-naturedly, stepping past Yamato to peer into the dark corners of the room. "I need a broom...you see one anywhere?"

I suddenly realised that I had yet to become a part of the conversation and decided that I had better say something.

"What do you need it for?"

"To ride," came the serious answer.

"O-kay..."

"Nah. Really I accidentally knocked a whole rack of test tubes onto the floor of the chem lab. I've been sent to get something to clean it up with," Taichi said, "Man, I can't see one anywhere! What kind of janitor's closet IS this?"

"Here," Yamato's calm voice answered as he held up a broom. Taichi turned round and beamed. 

"Hey thanks!" He reached out and took the broom from Yamato's hand. "Well, back to fun, fun Chemistry then!" he said with exaggerated cheerfulness. "You want me to close the door behind me, right?" He asked, as he rested a hand on the doorknob.

"No," Yamato said, surprising me, "I think we're done in here now anyway." He stepped forward and straight out the door as Tai held it open for him. Blinking, I followed.

Taichi turned to us once in the empty hallway and looked from me to Yamato. His eyes were smiling. "Now you kids behave yourself from now on," he said, a good imitation of our school principal.

"Behave? Me?" Yamato asked, widening his eyes innocently. "I'm always on my best behaviour, right Dai?" he asked sweetly, without looking at me.

"Sure you are," I replied automatically, noticing that Taichi and Yamato were actually standing quite close together considering that they were no longer a couple.

"That was your best behaviour?" Taichi asked, raising his eyebrows and leaning on the broom.

"Mm...not quite. That was just very, very good behaviour," Yamato replied in a voice that sounded almost flirtatious, "I assure you I can be even better."

Taichi grinned. 

"So anyway," I heard myself say loudly before I realised I'd even opened my mouth, in a tone that basically was an order to change the subject. It was getting weird. And I was getting funny pangs of...something like jealousy, but not quite that. Yamato glanced at me and then obediently retreated and slipped a reassuring arm through mine. 

"Yeah. Anyway," Taichi replied easily, seeming quite comfortable to slip into a new conversation, "Miyako said that I was supposed to ask you two if you want to come to this party she's having on Thursday night. It's a stupid day to have it if you ask me but her parents are going away so...yeah. Can you come?" 

I was expecting Yamato to answer, and was kind of surprised when instead he turned to look at me expectantly, still clinging affectionately to my arm. 

"Yeah...I guess we could make an appearance," I said, confidently, just like Taichi would have done. Yamato grinned.

"Make sure the red carpet's ready though," he said, leaning his head against my shoulder and folding his fingers between mine, "or we'll be turning right around and walking out again, got it?"

"I'll tell Miyako," the younger Taichi said, his eyes seeming to linger on Yamato's arm linked through mine. I felt irrationally gloating at having Yamato on MY arm before Tai looked up at me. And then it suddenly turned to guilt at the look in his eyes. I'm not good at reading emotions and expressions and stuff and I can only describe what I saw there as a sense of loss. And confusion. Like he had lost something but didn't know what it was. Or that feeling you get when you know you have forgotten something but can't remember what it is that you've forgotten. 

"So...I better get back before they send out some search party or something," he said with a cheerfulness that even I could tell wasn't entirely genuine. Taichi's like me and can't hide his feelings. He held the broom up to back up his reason for leaving and then turned to walk off.

"Tai!" I blurted automatically and he stopped and looked back over his shoulder. I didn't know quite what it was that I wanted to say but I just felt weird...like I needed to do something to make things better. What could I do? Detach Yamato, hand him over to Taichi and apologise for any inconvenience? Yeah. Right.

"Good luck with getting all that cleaned up, man," I said with a grin. Taichi rolled his eyes, all traces of unhappy feelings already wiped from his own face.

"Yeah. Thanks. I'll need it," he said before walking away. 

"So what now?" I asked Yamato, feeling almost relieved to be away from Taichi. He made me feel guilty. I've never been good at dealing with negative emotions. I turned my head to look at Yamato who was still staring down the corridor after Tai. He blinked and looked at me.

"Sorry...what did you say?"

"What now?"

"Let's just go home," Yamato said, unwinding his arm from mine and leaving me to follow him down the corridor in the opposite direction to the one Tai had taken.

"I thought we weren't allowed to leave during free periods?" I said questioningly, making my tone light so that it could be interpreted as a joke if it was a stupid question to ask. Yamato shrugged.

"Yeah...but if we get caught I'll just seduce the principal again and get us off the hook," he said, his face completely serious. I stopped walking and stared at him.

"That is a joke, right?"

He stared at me blankly for a moment before breaking into one of his gorgeous smiles.

"Of course, idiot. Eurgh, he's old and fat." Yamato wrinkled his nose as he pushed open the door that led outside, not holding it for me but leaving me to catch it myself. "As if."

We walked back to Yamato's house for the second night in a row and watched TV until what would have been the end of the school day, when Yamato had band practice. I was actually kind of relieved that we didn't do anything more than that. Not sure why.

A/N: Ta da. Will honestly TRY to get the next part out faster. *whines* Why can I not just sit down and write solidly forever??? Stupid life getting in my way as usual. And having said what I said at first, I really enjoyed writing this chapter a lot so I might not be a washed-up as I thought. 

Oh and 'specially for babydragon who keeps asking: Of COURSE I am going to put them all back together again in the end my dear. ^_^ That's the bit I'm looking forward to most! 


	6. Ignorance

Hero Worship

Part Six

+ Natsu +

A/N: Well. I have been utterly uninspired to write this for so long that I was beginning to think that it would never get written. I got sucked into the Harry Potter fandom and just couldn't seem to claw my way out. But then I bought the new New Found Glory CD. And...well yeah. I would like to thank New Found Glory for being Daisuke personified in music. And then I had to stop again because I was swamped with work. *snarls angrily* It hits a bit of a...mm. It just turns into a big pile of crap towards the end. 

Um also...the vague beginnings of the Kensuke are woven aimlessly through this chapter. Not that I have any vague kind of experience of Kensuke...I have to warm up to it gradually. Um...also have realised that I seem to have stopped being Daisuke...am being descriptive...Hmm...sorry. My muse for this fic is going through a 'look at me trying to be an intellectual' stage. *swats at her*

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It's weird how quickly you get used to things isn't it? Like if you go on vacation somewhere, it's not long before you find yourself forgetting that your life doesn't consist solely of sand, sunshine and ice cream cones. By Wednesday morning, it already felt almost normal to be waking up in Taichi's bed. It was getting easier and easier to refer to his things as 'mine', and I was getting used to forcing myself to struggle through his lessons at school. They weren't all bad. Anything that came out of the teacher's mouth in either Maths or Biology still made no sense whatsoever but I could spend the time drawing unsuspecting classmates and rely on Yamato to fill me in when I had neglected to listen to instructions again. In Maths on Wednesday I drew the girl who sat next to the window, pale hand playing against her cheek as she chewed the end of her pen, red curls slipping loose from the clasp at the nape of her neck. The clasp was thick and made of vanished wood that caught the pallid classroom lights and glowed like amber. In Biology the partnership next to Yamato and I set fire to their results sheet and the smell of smoke curled lazily around us amidst the shouts of the teacher and the laughter of the students as the paper burned in a merry, if short-lived, little blaze that left scorch marks dabbed artistically over the matte surface of their safety mat.

The school soccer season was over for the year but I was discovering that I really kicked ass at tennis and more than once the coach had singled me out for praise. Wednesday afternoon was warm and sweaty and the neon surface of the tennis ball bristled uncomfortably against my clammy palms as I reared back to serve and send the ball crashing over the net with a satisfying 'puck' from the taut racket strings. In Sociology I would spend the time being loud and opinionated in debates and watching Sumi tap her glossy nails against the wooden desktop during the dull theory. On Monday they had been pink, the colour of cotton candy, Tuesday they were black and on that Wednesday they were a rich, earthy crimson that reminded me of blood, cherries and Jun's cinnamon dental floss. For the first time I noticed that those tapping nails moved with a definite rhythm, that Sumi's eyebrows were dipped lightly in concentration as if the tune to accompany the beat was playing in her head under all the little twisty braids she was wearing.

I was noticing little things that day, for no apparent reason. Which was weird because I don't normally pay attention to...well...to anything. But that Wednesday I noticed everything; from the way that the patchy shadows on the tennis courts shifted slightly with the clouds to the way that Yamato chewed almost imperceptibly on the top of his bottom lip when he was concentrating on a mass of equations. 

I noticed Ken the first time when we were walking to school. I noticed that he was unusually quiet, even quieter than was normal for him. Then I noticed Ken the second time that Wednesday as I was on the way to meet Yamato for lunch. I saw his distinctive head of hair through the window of the library as I was passing and while any normal person would have assumed he was working and ignored him, I, of course, didn't, despite the fact I was already late for lunch. I know it sounds sappy, but I was missing him. And even if I couldn't talk to him like I normally would do, I just felt the need to at least see him, sit near him for a little while. He was like my link back to normalcy, maybe. Besides, Tai had asked us to eat lunch with he and Ken and I had agreed since Yamato had ignored the question and left it up to me to decide. Ken wasn't working anyway, just kind of sitting with a book open on the table, staring through the window at nothing in particular. 

The door gave an irritable shriek of protest as I pushed it open, earning me a bitter look from the wrinkled librarian who sat brooding behind her desk. 

"Think your door needs oiling," I informed her amiably as I walked past her, dropped my books next to Ken and slid into the seat in front of him. He started as the heavy books hit the table and I watched his gaze shift from them up to me, deep irises focusing slowly as he dragged himself out of his thoughts and back to the world. I grinned at him.

"Hey," I said cheerily, eyes flicking round his comfortingly familiar face, drinking in as much of him as I possibly could. I wanted my sketchbooks from home. I wondered if they were still in my room, if Tai had them.

He blinked for a moment before saying calmly, "Hello Daisuke," and then raising one smooth eyebrow when I didn't say anything more, "Can I help you?" 

"Nah, I'm fine," I shrugged. "Just thought I'd, you know, say 'hey'."

"Okay. Well...hey." Ken reached out a hand and flipped the book he was 'reading' shut and began piling the others on top of it.

"You don't have to pack up just 'cause I'm here," I found myself saying.

"No it's not that. I was just leaving anyway."

"Oh okay. Are you coming to lunch then?" 

Ken seemed focused on the engrossing task of stuffing the books into his bag, which while I admit can occasionally be somewhat challenging to me, should not have been the slightest bit difficult for Ken with all his IQ numbers 

"Um I think I have to see my Chemistry teacher," he said eventually, not meeting my eyes but looking everywhere else there was to look, then tucking his hair nervously behind his ears twice in quick succession. Nobody is more obvious when they lie than Ken is, especially if you know what to look for. 

"Your Chem teacher? What for?" I smirked good-naturedly, "Sure it isn't him coming to you for help?" I always make jokes about him being a genius. Just in the same way he makes jokes about me being completely oblivious to the world in general. They're not nasty or anything, just something we do. In response he offered me a wry smile, which was so familiar it almost made me forget that we weren't best friends anymore.

"No."

"What's it about then? C'mon indulge me. I'm a nosey weirdo."

"Oh just some theorem that we've been studying. I just can't quite seem to grasp it." Ken tossed his hair too casually, his gaze slipping from mine again.

"Yeah right. You know...if you don't want to eat lunch with us you just have to say. I won't be offended or anything."

Ken blinked at me and then smiled uncomfortably and stood.

"Of course I want to eat with you. I just...I..." He swung his bag gracefully over one shoulder as he cast about for something to say.

"You...?"

"I have to..."

"Just felt like some alone time, huh?"

"Well...yes. Sort of." Ken said, looking away resignedly. 

"Hey it's not a big deal. We all need our own time sometimes." Ken always liked to have little blocks of time that he could spend on his own. Of course, 'on his own' generally translated to 'on his own with his best friend'. "I guess Tai won't be eating with us either then, right?"

If possible Ken looked even more uncomfortable.

"I wouldn't know. I haven't really spoken to him since we walked to school this morning," he said quietly.

"Oh. Okay."

I think I expected him to leave then, but he didn't. He kept kind of hovering hesitatingly, glaring blankly at the floor.

"Is there, um, something wrong?" I asked. Ken flicked turbulent eyes up to meet me and I could see as clear as day that he wanted desperately to tell me, to tell someone. But I know him. And so I knew that he wouldn't tell a soul, whatever it was. I was waiting for the denial and the false 'everything's fine', but he didn't say anything and instead just sank back into the chair with a sigh.

Eventually he looked at me and said firmly, "Nothing that I can't handle," with a smile.

I hated Tai then. I hated him suddenly and irrationally for not understanding my best friend in the way that he deserves to be understood. Ken is complex. That's the easiest way to describe him. He is not just your average person and so you can't treat him as if he is. That was the very first thing I learnt about him. If you can be bothered to make the effort to know him properly then you're fine. You need to understand what he means when he says things. He'll say one thing but mean something completely different, or he'll say two words but really be communicating a whole internal monologue to you. If I couldn't be Ken's best friend now, it was up to Tai to look after him. And how could he not notice that something was so blatantly wrong? Even TK had been watching him more carefully this morning, I remembered suddenly. And Tai hadn't even bothered to look. 

Of course, it was really more my fault than it was his. Yeah, that made me feel really great. Well never mind. If it's my fault, it's up to me to try to make it better, right? Right. So I started talking before he could get up and make a break for it.

"Ken...I know I'm not the most obvious person for you to talk to about anything, but if you ever have, you know, any great desire to spill, then I'm here to...well, to be spilled on, I guess. I wouldn't tell anyone. I can keep a secret. And I'm not as stupid as I look either. I could probably understand most of what you say, providing you keep it pretty much in layman's terms." I grinned at him in what I hoped was a comforting way. He was watching me with guarded interest. 

"Thanks. I appreciate that," he said in a non-committal way, even if there was something in his expression that told me he really did appreciate it. 

"I know you don't like to talk to anyone about, well, anything, but we all need to talk sometimes. Am I right?"

"What makes you think I don't like to talk to people?" was the almost instantaneous response.

"I know a lot more about you than you'd think," I smiled mysteriously. "Oh great, and now I sound like some scary stalker and you'll definitely never be talking to me about anything at all."

Ken almost smiled.

"No, seriously...lucky guess. You're kind of like Yamato. He doesn't like to talk about stuff, so I figured you might not either." I shrugged in what I hoped was a nonchalant way. I have no clue whether Yamato likes to talk about stuff or not. In fact, I wonder if Tai would have been pissed off at me had our positions been reversed. Oh wait they already were reversed. If Tai knew they were reversed, I'm pretty sure he'd be more than pissed off at me. Hypocrite? Moi?

"Oh. Well. I guess you guessed kind of right. I do like to talk to people...just not about some things."

"I understand totally." I got up from my seat and grabbed my books. "So...are you going to come to lunch?"

"I..."

"Aw c'mon. It'll be fine. You can just sit there and ignore everyone if you like and I'll even make sure nobody tries to talk to you or anything."

"You don't have to do that," Ken smiled, "but I'll come anyway." He shrugged. "It's not like I have anything better to do." 

And so Ken and I walked to lunch together.

* * * * * *

Ken's apartment smells of clean things. It's something I've always noticed. Taichi's apartment smells of living, Yamato's smells of being, mine smells like Jun, and Ken's smells of clean. There is an all-pervading odour of his mother's rose-scented pot pourri and apple and jasmine plug-in air freshener. The two mismatched smells seem to clash and make everything sickly sweet and dizzying, but it's a smell I recognise and have gotten used to. I wanted to throw my arms out and bask in it when I walked through the door that afternoon; it felt like months since I had last smelled it. I managed to restrain myself from basking though, which was a good thing because I would have looked completely ridiculous if I had done.

"Sorry about the mess," Ken said almost as soon as we'd walked through the door, "my mother's wine-tasting group met here last night and they got a bit...overexcited." He gestured to a haphazard tangle of empty wine glasses and napkins strewn all over the lounge. "I guess she hasn't had a chance to clear up yet." 

We all said our respective 'don't worry about it, it's fine, my mum's just the same', but Ken proceeded to tidy anyway, before any of us were allowed to sit. And true to the theme of the day, I made a point of noticing the way everyone sat.

Tai positively threw himself down onto what was normally, I _noticed_ with a stab of annoyance, my seat. He sat sideways, legs dangling over one arm of the chair, head on folded arms resting on the other. He sat as if he owned the place. Yamato took the seat opposite Tai, where Ken normally sat, and lowered himself into the chair slowly, languidly, eyes lazily taking in everything around him and storing it away for later use. He crossed his legs carefully and it struck me suddenly that there seemed to be something calculated about all his movements. No, calculated isn't the right word...inherent. There was something inherent about his movements, like those of a dancer or a gymnast whose training is so deeply ingrained in them that it spills over into daily life.

My seat being taken, I sat down sulkily on the sofa where the familiar plush feel of the cushions relaxed me instantly. Ken, having waited for everyone else to take their seats first, sat next to me on the edge of the sofa, hands resting in his lap. It was strange, but in comparison to Tai and Yamato, and I suppose myself, Ken looked the stiffest and the least comfortable. And he was in his own home.

"So...what do you want to do?" Ken asked then with an apparently comfortable smile, as if in defiance to my analysis.

It was the end of the day, after school, in case you were wondering how I went from the library suddenly to Ken's house. Lunch was basically uneventful. Ken and I had found Taichi and Yamato already eating and engaged in surprisingly easy conversation. We had joined them and said conversation had moved arbitrarily from one subject to the next before it had somehow led to Tai announcing that he was going to Ken's house after school and would Yamato and I like to come? Regardless of who had extended the invitation, I jumped at the chance to go to Ken's again. The place was like my second home and I was missing the feeling of being at home. I agreed before even stopping to consider.

"Oh sorry…I guess I should have asked you if that was okay first shouldn't I?" Tai said way too late, looking sheepishly at Ken.

Ken's smile was forced as he said his predictable, "No, it's fine," and I might have felt bad if I hadn't really wanted to go. But it's not as though Ken and Tai never see each other. It would hardly matter if a couple of people crashed. Ken's adaptable – I knew he'd live.

So there you have it. Exciting story, huh?

"I don't mind. Whatever anyone else feels like doing," I said in answer to Ken's question as Yamato and Taichi shrugged at the same time. 

"Does anyone want anything to drink?" Ken asked hopefully. It makes him feel twitchy if there isn't something to occupy him.

"Nope, I'm fine," Tai said bluntly and Yamato's calm "No thanks," ruled him out too. Being the nice person that I am and also being in the middle of a dangerous mission to regain Ken's friendship, I took pity on him and said I was thirsty even though I wasn't. Now is that true friendship or is that true friendship?

"Hey, Tai," Yamato said, leaning over the arm of his chair and dragging his guitar case off the floor as I was standing up to accompany Ken to the kitchen, "You want to try that thing?"

Tai sat up instantly and swung his legs off the chair as smoothly as if he had been holding himself poised for such a motion from the second he sat down. "Sure!" he grinned, leaning forward eagerly in his seat as Yamato undid the clasps of the case.

"What thing?" Ken asked, stopping unexpectedly on his way across the sitting room and causing me to nearly fall over him.

"Oh, Matt said he'd teach me to play something. How fucking cool is that?" Tai blurted excitedly, watching Yamato lift his precious guitar from its case and hold it protectively.

I grinned at him indulgently. "Pretty fucking cool."

"It won't be 'fucking cool' at all if you break it. So don't." Yamato responded as Tai shuffled over to him.

Figuring they were happy enough to amuse themselves for a bit, I turned and made my way towards the kitchen, trying to think what would be the first topic of conversation I'd try on Ken. I'd just reached the kitchen door and settled on asking about Ken's next soccer match when I realised that he wasn't with me. He was still standing in the sitting room and watching blankly as Yamato slid out of his chair to join Tai on the floor, explaining as he did so all the things you had to do in order to not trash the guitar.

"Ken? You coming?" I asked brightly, wondering why he had spaced out like that. Probably over-worked, poor guy.

He blinked and stared at me in a subdued manner before nodding and following me into the kitchen. I figured I could maybe talk to Ken a bit, while Tai and Yamato were occupied, maybe try to gain some more of his trust, get him to open up a little, just like I had done the first time. Unfortunately for me, Ken didn't seem to be in any mood for talking. He was frowning to himself and had that kind of glazed look in his eyes that he gets when his brain wanders off to think about complicated things that nobody around him could ever properly understand.

"You okay?" I asked.

"Yeah. Fine." Ken answered automatically as he opened a cupboard door; the one that I know contains the breakfast cereals and stuff. He frowned at the contents, closed the door slowly, then opened the right cupboard and removed two glasses.

"Are you sure?" 

"Yep. What do you want to drink?"

"Um…anything's fine. So…what…" Ken looked at me expectantly and suddenly I couldn't remember what I was going to ask him. I could hear wobbly guitar notes and the occasional burst of Taichi's familiar laughter coming from the other room. 

"What…did…you do at school today?" I ended up saying. How lame. I sounded like my mother when she wants to talk to me just for the sake of talking.

Ken shrugged and turned to open the refrigerator. "Not much. You know, just school things. Work."

"Yeah. Work. I hate that."

"Mm. Is this okay?" Ken held up a jug of violently red fruit punch, only my favourite drink in the whole world. His mother makes it. I think I only like it so much because Ken's house is the only place you can get it. I'm difficult like that. 

"Sure." 

Ken carefully poured the punch, as one might measure out dangerous chemicals, and handed me a glass. I thanked him and leant back against the counter, sipping my drink thoughtfully.

"How long have you and Yamato been together now?" Ken asked suddenly, catching me off guard. I glanced up from my drink to find him looking at me, his eyes now clear and sharp in the way they are when they're skimming over a complicated maths problem.

"Um I don't know. A while, I guess."

Ken seemed to consider this information and then said,

"And when you did get together did it completely invert your whole relationship?"

"I…" I felt like I was being interrogated under a big white spotlight. "I don't know. I guess it changed a little but…I don't know. I can't remember."

"But if it did change," Ken pushed on, apparently not phased by the fact that I had evaded giving a decent answer, "then you don't regret it? Because change isn't always good, right? I mean theoretically change is natural and therefore unavoidable, but sometimes you just want things to stay the same, don't you?"

I have to say, this wasn't what I was expecting when I said I wanted to talk to Ken. I was thinking more…me talking. Not Ken asking random unexpected questions that I didn't know the answers to.   

"Well things have to change, sure. I know you hate change but most change is good."

"How do you know I hate change?" Ken asked immediately, giving me the strongest sense of deja vu. I wanted to yell, 'because I bloody well know you better than anyone else, alright?!' but instead I responded, equally quickly,

"Lucky guess. What's with all the questions?"

"Nothing. Just thinking."

"You're always thinking."

"So?"

"So...maybe you should spend less time thinking about things and actually learn to rely on your instincts. Then maybe you'd be happy doing what you want for a change."

"I am doing what I want. Whoever said I wasn't?"

"Nobody. Just...it just seems like that. I think you just shouldn't put so much faith in analytical thought and shit is all."

Ken paused and looked at me carefully, then frowned as if he hadn't noticed that he'd been talking to me and was surprised to find that he had been.

"You think so?"

"Yeah, I do."

"Hm," was the only response Ken made. He chewed his lip and fixed his eyes carefully on the refrigerator magnets, obviously thinking deep thoughts despite my advice. He was quiet for so long that I wondered if he'd somehow managed to pass out standing up and decided to say something before he fell down and choked on his own tongue like they tell you people do in first aid leaflets.

"So," I said, "This is nice, huh? All four of us spending some time together."

"Yeah," Ken, replied, albeit belatedly. 

"I mean we hardly ever talk. It's cool to talk to someone new sometimes, don't you think?"

"I guess so."

"We should do more stuff together. Like, as a group. Because, I mean, Tai and Yamato seem to be getting on okay too."

"Yeah," Ken said, his face tightening slightly, "Let's go back in." He turned rather abruptly and practically marched out, leaving me to follow. 

As we crossed over into the sitting room, the unsteady and halting notes that had been bouncing through the apartment suddenly melted into a fluid melody. Apparently bored with Taichi's staccato tune, Yamato had now taken over playing. The guitar still rested on Taichi's lap and Yamato was sitting behind him, legs sprawled out and arms reaching around Taichi as he plucked expertly at strings he couldn't see. The song was something old and American that I didn't recognise. I couldn't understand the words that Yamato was singing quietly over his playing, but the tune was mellow and pleasant, with a sharp edge to it. It made me think of warm yellows, frosty greens and thick, glossy oil paint. It made me think of citrus fruits.

Ken sat down slowly on the sofa and I followed suit. Yamato's eyes were cast down and so I couldn't tell if he was even aware that we had come back in. Dark, feathery eyelashes and slivers of blonde hair obscured the blue of his irises, but I imagined that they had taken on the same kind of glazed quality that Ken's did for serious thinking. There was something about his posture that suggested that even though he was here physically, Yamato's mind couldn't have been further away. He played as if there was nothing between him and the guitar, let alone another person. Taichi's eyes too, were aimed down, carefully watching Yamato's hands. He was uncharacteristically quiet and his eyelashes flickered as he blinked rapidly, trying to keep up with Yamato's fingers.

Glancing at Ken, I saw that at least he seemed to be looking straight ahead and actually aware of what was going on around him. But a second glance revealed that even if his eyes were visible, his stare was blank and he looked no more a part of reality than either of the others did. I don't know what he was thinking about, but as the music washed over us, Ken's frown was so deep that it seemed as though he might burst into tears at any moment.

I sat back in my chair, feeling strangely discontent, and thought of nothing.

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A/N: Ohh…I apologise deeply for this chapter. Studying Thomas Hardy is wilting my brain.


	7. Shattering

Hero Worship

Part Seven

+ Natsu +

A/N: I can't apologise enough for the hugely long delay for this chapter. But I've just been completely and utterly uninspired to write this fic lately. I've lost my grasp on the character of Daisuke and whenever I sit down and try to write, I can't think of anything to say. Blergh. Anyway...here it is. And hopefully, it should only take one, maybe two more chapters to finish the job. Although how long it will take me to finish those one or two chapters, I don't know. Hopefully, the next chapter should be finished within a few weeks, as I know exactly what I want to happen and how it's going to happen. And I'm really feeling like I want to finish this, so I'm going to make a big effort. However my efforts may be hampered by the fact that I am currently living in Japan for six months and finding the time to write is a bit of a challenge.

As a side note, I'm just becoming aware how many of my stories encourage the terrible abuse of alcohol. What can I say? I'm an eighteen-year-old student who grew up in small-town England. The only thing to do in small-town England is to go to pubs and house parties and get fantastically drunk. But for the record, it's a VERY BAD THING that you shouldn't do. Yes. 

This is for my faithful reviewers who I love very very much and feel horribly guilty about keeping waiting. And especially for babydragon who always reviews, and who I just think is lovely, for Jheya because she's my friend and for my sister, who has bullied me to keep writing this.

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"I feel like doing something drastic," Yamato said, for no apparent reason, as we were walking to school the next morning.

"You want to what?" I replied groggily. In case you haven't noticed, I'm not much of a morning person.

"Do something drastic," Yamato repeated.

"Drastic how?" I asked warily. "Like, throw yourself off a cliff drastic or…wear a new colour shirt drastic?"

Yamato raised an eyebrow at me. "That's not drastic."

"Well it might be if it was like…a really bright new colour or something. I don't know. It's too early for thinking of things."

"Yeah, so school is just the right place for you then, huh?" 

"Shut up. Drastic how?"

"I'm not really sure. I'm just…bored, I guess. Same old routine, you know?"

"Um…yeah," I replied vaguely. For me, it was really still a pretty new routine. "So…what are you going to do? Dye your hair? Go…purple?" I grinned, and Yamato snorted.

"What is this colour thing you have suddenly? Is there some terrible problem with my perception of colour that you never told me about? Dai, how could you?"

I shrugged. "Didn't want to hurt your feelings. You know how it is."

"Mm. Seriously though, don't you feel kind of bored by…everything? Kind of…restless?" Yamato asked, looking at me as he walked.

"Well…I don't know. Maybe a little…but…I don't know." Honestly, I didn't really know what to say. It's hard to be bored with something that you've only just started to experience. The conversation pretty much grinded to a halt after that. 

"Oh." Yamato said, and I felt bad for not being able to give him the answer he wanted. But I learned a long time ago that if you don't understand something, pretending you do doesn't get you anywhere. You only get caught out and even more confused and end up being embarrassed horribly. So what was I supposed to do? We walked in silence for a minute or so before I began to feel uncomfortable and decided to use my amazing conversational skills to fill up the empty space.

"So what do you have first thing today?"

"Music," Yamato said instantly, obviously more than happy to change the subject. "Thank God," he added, "if we have one more Maths class first thing in the morning..."

"Yeah. I think I have sociology..."

Our discussion proceeded civilly from there until the school swept into view from amongst the uniform buildings lining the streets. And with it swept Tai, who was standing at the gates as we approached. 

"Hey!" he called, waving, just in case we had somehow not noticed him. Which you wouldn't think possible, except I had actually managed to not notice him since I was at the time staring upwards at an interesting shaped cloud. Try it some time, it's a lot of fun.

"Hello," Yamato returned. He didn't stop sharply but I almost walked into him anyway, since my eyes were still glued skywards. Taichi's grin widened.

"Hey," he said again, staring at Yamato in a shamelessly obvious way.

"Yes. Hey. Did you want something?" Yamato replied and I felt a laugh bubble up inside me, which I quickly squashed before it could leap out and embarrass me. I've a lot of practice at that. I often find things funny that most people wouldn't. I like to think of it as just another of my loveable quirks.

"Yeah," Taichi replied, shifting the weight of his bag on his shoulder, but still managing to look composed, "I just wanted to remind you about Miyako's party tonight. You still coming?"

"That's tonight?" I asked incredulously, having completely forgotten about it. "Man, time sure flies, doesn't it?"

Unfortunately nobody seemed to hear me since Yamato had spoken at the same time.

"Of course we're coming. We said we would, didn't we?"

"Great. Just checking. See you there then!" Tai gave a careless wave as he turned and jogged off towards the school.

"Does he always run everywhere?" Yamato asked, without looking at me.

"Dunno. I guess," was the eloquent response that escaped my lips.  

* * * * *

We said we were coming and coming we were. We were late, but fashionably so, as Yamato assured me. The weather was unseasonably hot and muggy for April and the air was heavy around us. Thick clouds hung suffocatingly low and the visible patches of sky were an ominous yellowish colour that warned of a coming storm. It looked to me like the kind of evening that you wouldn't want to remain outside in for too long unless the idea of getting soaked and probably struck by lightning really appealed. Everything was a little too still and a little too quiet, something that I was made more aware of by the fact that Yamato and I walked in silence. I hadn't seen much of him during the morning, but he'd been acting kind of weird from lunchtime onwards. Tonight, as he marched determinedly beside me, he seemed to fit in pretty well with the sullen, brooding storm clouds and the breathy, spiteful breeze, which was restraining itself until it could explode in full force later. He was wearing jeans and a white shirt, open at the throat and cuffs. I spent part of the walk to Miyako's considering whether he spent ages carefully choosing something to wear that would make him look so effortlessly perfect or whether he just grabbed something from his wardrobe like I do and the whole perfection thing just happened by accident. Pretty nifty accident if that was the case. The only accidents that ever happened to me in the clothing department were things like spilling cereal down myself. As I have previously demonstrated.

We turned off the street together and climbed the steps up to Miyako's apartment wordlessly. On the doormat, Yamato ran a precautionary hand through his hair and rang the bell. 

"Well, here we go then," he said cryptically as our eyes met for the first time since leaving his apartment. The door was thrown open almost immediately by our beaming hostess who ushered us inside. 

"Glad you could make it!" Miyako said, after greeting me, and a Yamato who was now all smiles. "Come through, there's drinks and stuff in the kitchen." We were ushered some more, this time into the kitchen, where one of Miyako's older sisters was ready with more welcomes. I forget her name, but I know she's in the same year at school as Taichi and Yamato. She's Sora's friend and they hang out a lot so she's one of the few people (who haven't fought monsters and saved the world, that is) who know about Taichi and Yamato's couple status. Which was a good thing to know. Hopefully I wouldn't have to worry about getting shoved off any benches tonight. 

"I'm playing barmaid," she explained, gesturing to the assorted glasses and bottles that littered the worktops, "I'm supposed to be making sure the younger ones don't get too much to drink."

"Very responsible of you," Yamato said with a smile.  

"Yes, I thought so," she grinned back. "So I guess I'm safe to assume that you guys are going to help me dispose of some of this stuff before any young'uns get their hands on it?"

"I reckon we could manage that, right baby?" I replied, turning to Yamato and trying out a new pet name while I was at it.

"Dai, don't call me that," he said, wrinkling his nose slightly.

"Why?"

"Because it's sappy, that's why. What are these?" Yamato asked Miyako's sister, gesturing to a collection of stumpy little shot glasses jumbled together on a tray.

"Shots," she replied shortly.

"Of?"

"Of...things. I can't remember. They are assorted shots. There's some Tequila, some vodka, some...whatever this stuff was..." she held up a suspicious-looking bottle and peered at the label, "I think the green ones are this stuff. I wouldn't drink those if I were you. But take your pick from the others." She offered the tray to Yamato who took one and promptly tossed it back. 

"Whoo! Yeah, that's what we like to see," Miyako's sister crowed, beaming.

I automatically touched Yamato's arm as he reached for a second shot glass. "Hey, I don't want to have to carry you home," I warned, thinking how not fun it would be trying to handle Yamato when he was drunk, considering how high-maintenance he seemed to be even when completely sober.

"I'm not asking you to," Yamato replied calmly and swallowed the contents of the glass briskly, pulling a face as he handed the glass back and started in the direction of the lounge. 

"And what can I get you? You want a shot too, Dai?" Miyako's sister prompted me seeing as I had yet to ask for anything. I'm not much of a drinker, mostly because getting your hands on alcohol when you're underage and of my height is pretty impossible, but I've tried it enough times to know that spirits really aren't my thing. They just make my eyes water and my face screw up. Not pretty.

"I'll just have a beer," I said and, having been handed one, followed after Yamato.

The first thing I heard as I stepped into the room was Tai's voice.

"You sure took your time!" he cried, more loudly than necessary to be heard over the music.

"And?" asked Yamato as he took a seat near Tai on the sofa. I followed suit, sitting on the sofa and smiling at Ken, who was perched on a footstool in front of me.

"And we've been sitting here waiting for you. Right Ken?"

"Mm-hm," was Ken's response.

I was about to make an amusing comment about Ken's lack of enthusiasm when Takeru decided to grace us with his presence. Which is probably a good thing really because in hindsight Ken might not have found my amusing comment all that amusing. 

"Hey!" Takeru blurted happily. He saluted us by touching the bottle he held in his hand to blonde hair that was looking messier than usual and winked one unnaturally bright eye. His grin faded slightly as his gaze travelled over us and settled on Yamato, who was looking at him with calmly raised eyebrows. Takeru glanced guiltily at the bottle in his hand. "I'm only having one," he said defiantly.

"Did I say anything disapproving?" Yamato asked.

"No...but you were looking at me. In a disapproving kind of way."

"That sounds like the talk of a guilty conscience to me, TK," Yamato grinned.

Takeru pouted in response, an expression he must have picked up from his older brother. I'd seen that pout on Yamato's face more times than I could count. As if having noticed the similarity himself, Yamato said, "Whatever, TK. Do what you like. You want to be careful though. You don't want to end up turning into me," Yamato smirked, "It isn't a good thing to be."

"Sure it is!" Tai said, leaping into the conversation.

Yamato looked at him then patted his knee condescendingly. "Yeah. Okay."

Takeru opened his mouth, looking prepared to launch into a speech. He only got as far as "I..." before he was cut off by Hikari, who burst unexpectedly from the surrounding party atmosphere and threw herself at him. From what then ensued, the two had obviously finally taken that last step and made their couple status official. 

"Looks like he's turning into you already," remarked Jyou, who had been standing nearby, listening to the conversation at a safe distance.

"Yeah," Yamato winced slightly and leaned towards me. "I apologise in advance for anything untoward my brother does to your sister," he said.

"I'd be more worried about what she might do to him, if I were you," I returned, glancing at Takeru in amusement. He was struggling valiantly to return Hikari's uncharacteristically ferocious advances without falling over and/or spilling his beer. Yamato grinned warmly at me. It was the kind of smile that you can't help but return.

The mood Hikari and Takeru were setting pretty much became the mood for the entire party. Amid the flowing alcohol and the pulsing music, the night seemed to grow increasingly wilder, louder and more frantic. To my immense relief, Yamato had stopped drinking pretty early, with the precision of someone whose limits have been tried and tested many times before. Taichi stopped drinking when Yamato did and I didn't have any more after my first. Hikari and Takeru, on the other hand, had been devising increasingly inventive ways of conning Miyako's sister into giving them more drink and were currently bullying other unsuspecting guests into playing Twister with them, which they would then proceed to rig so that people ended up in the most compromising positions possible. Jyou, who was driving and utterly sober was distributing strategically placed glasses of water around the house on any available surface in the hopes that people would drink them by mistake and thus re-hydrate themselves and sober up. So far the plan hadn't been successful. Largely because Miyako and Koushiro had joined forces against him and were spiking every glass of water they came across with lashings of whatever spirits they could lay their hands on.

Taichi and Yamato were both sat on the floor, engaged in a playful argument which had been triggered by a round of Takeru and Hikari's patented Twister. Next to me on the sofa Ken sat watching them, his cheeks flushed, drink in hand. I don't think he can have had more than two drinks but he was still managing to look kind of glazed and merry. My best friend, ladies and gentlemen, lightweight extraordinaire. All of Ken's hazy attention was directed at the couple on the floor, which meant I was free to look at him without having to worry about him running screaming. Definitely a bonus. And the more I looked, the more I noticed that Ken was looking particularly picturesque that night. 

I'll be the first to admit that Ken is attractive. I'm allowed to say it because he's my best friend and it's my privilege to sing his praises. But he's the kind of attractive that people don't always notice instantly. He's not classically handsome, like Taichi or glaringly sexy, like Yamato but he definitely makes you look twice. And once you start looking, you can't seem to stop. His face is all sculpted angles and fascinating curves and tonight it was in a rare state of relaxation. There were no thoughtful furrows between his eyebrows, no calculating frown twitching down the corners of his mouth. Instead there was just a blank canvas of a face, devoid of the usual sketch lines of expression. 

My fingers itched for something to draw with, pencil, charcoal, ballpoint. I could see the clean page in my mind's eye; feel the creative static pulling the tip of my pencil to its surface. Start with the slope of the brow, trailing down in a sweeping stroke to form the bridge of the nose. Then, tracing the delicate curve of slightly parted lips, the precise flick of eyelashes. And finally, shading ever so carefully, each stroke barely brushing the page, to build up just enough depth to capture the glazed look in the velvety irises.

Had I actually been drawing, my sketch would have been half finished by the time I properly registered that Ken was looking back at me.

Oops. Busted.

I grinned charmingly, step one of my standard plan of attack when caught doing something I shouldn't be. Ken frowned, blinked at me and brushed the side of his hand self-consciously across one cheek. 

"Do I have something on my face?" he asked.

"No," I said, around my grin.

"Then why are you looking at me like that? What's wrong?" Another self-conscious hand, this time passing haltingly through his hair. 

"Nothing's wrong. I was just thinking. I can do that too, you know."

A withering look. "I know. What were you thinking?"

"I was thinking that you're really…" I groped for a suitable word.

"Really what?" His words were far too quick and his voice contained too much offended suspicion for him to be as intoxicated as I'd first thought. 

"Really…drawable." Ken raised one eyebrow, somewhere between confused and scornful.

"Really…what? Drawable? That isn't a word."

"It is so."

"No it isn't. Show me it in a dictionary."

"Well it won't be in a _dictionary_, no."

"Then it isn't a word."

"Sure it is. I just made it up. It's my word." Ken's mouth quirked upwards into a smile.

"Oh. Well in that case…" Ken trailed off and I couldn't help but grin over my small victory. We sat together without speaking for a few minutes and to my surprise, Ken was the one to break the silence first. And when he spoke, the frown lines were back in place and his voice was unusually bitter.

"Look at him," he said.

"Look at who?" When Ken didn't answer, I followed his gaze and realised he was watching Tai again. "Tai? What about him?" He was still sitting on the floor with Yamato, where they were engaged in the tail end of their argument, batting insults back and forth to one another. 

"Does he have to be so obvious about it?"

"About what?" I said, feeling my face arranging itself into Confused Daisuke Look (number 11). Ken turned his gaze briefly in my direction.

"You do know he has the hots for Yamato, right?"

"Of course," I replied and then grinned. "Yeah, you're right. He is pretty obvious about that."

Ken glanced back in the direction of the pair on the floor and then looked hard at me.

"Doesn't it bother you?" he asked.

"No. Why should it? It's only a crush. I'm sure it'll wear off eventually." At least that's what I always believed about how I used to feel for Yamato. Yeah, I liked him, but it wasn't as if I could realistically see myself remaining devoted to him for the rest of my days. Far from it.

"Yeah. I guess you're right," Ken said in a way that told me he actually thought completely the opposite. Before I could say anything else, he was standing up. "I think I'll go see what's going on in the kitchen," he informed me and moved away without another glance.

I'd only just begun to be confused by Ken's hasty departure when I was distracted by Takeru, who climbed over the back of the couch and plopped down heavily into the seat Ken had just vacated. He was looking distinctly less sober than when I had seen him last.

"Alright?" I enquired, trying not to laugh at the way he was swaying slightly even while sitting down. Waking up tomorrow morning was sure going to be a fun experience for him. He ignored my question and said instead,

"Poor Ken."

I had to try even harder not to laugh. He couldn't even talk without slurring his words. "What?"

Takeru waved a hand haphazardly in the direction of Tai and Yamato and looked at me pointedly. "Tai doesn't have a clue."

"What are you talking about, you drunk idiot?" I asked calmly. It makes you feel so superior to talk to a drunk person while you're still sober. Plus you can insult them as much as you like and they tend not to notice. It's great fun.

Takeru sighed dramatically. "Tai has no idea how Ken feels about him."

"What do you mean?"

Another sigh from Takeru, this one possibly even more melodramatic. "How the hell my brother puts up with you all the time, I don't know," he said. I was about to reply with a scathing comment (as soon as I'd managed to come up with one, that is), but Takeru barrelled on, this time speaking very slowly and clearly as if talking to a child. Or just to someone very, very dense. "Tai still hasn't figured out that Ken's crazy about him."

I guess I really must be very, very dense.

"Crazy about him...how?"

"In love with him!"  
  


"What? No way." Takeru nodded.

"Yes way. He's completely head over heels. How can you not know? Everyone knows. Except Tai, obviously, and that's the whole problem."

"Oh," was all my brain supplied me with to say.

"Yep," was what Takeru's managed to come up with. And then we sat in silence, or as near to silence as you can get in the middle of a party full of pulsing music and laughing voices.

I think my brain must have been hurtling along faster than it had ever done before. One confused, unresolved thought after another zoomed past amid a multitude of question marks. Takeru and I sat there together, both engaged in our own private battles. His; to balance the cap of his beer bottle on the end of his nose and mine; to pick up all the pieces of my world, which had suddenly just crashed to the ground into a big jumbled pile. Personally I think my challenge was slightly harder, but then I've never tried the bottle cap thing, so I can't say for sure. 

And all the while Tai was sitting there on the floor in front of me, and all I could think was 'you bastard'. At the time, I didn't even know why, I just knew that it was the only coherent thought in my head. You bastard, you bastard, you bastard. And all the while, the party raged around us; the abrasive laughter, the menacing rumble of the music, the barking conversation. The whole evening was beginning to make me feel as though I'd stepped into a parallel universe within a parallel universe. The feeling was only enforced by what happened next. Even at the time, it all seemed a little hazy and I've never been entirely sure exactly how it really began, just how it ended.

Yamato was talking to Jyou, who was patrolling the room and promoting his glasses of water to anyone who would listen. Yamato was also determinedly ignoring Taichi, his next offensive step in their argument, and Taichi had been trying desperately to regain his attention for the past five minutes. Then, giving in to Jyou's argument, Yamato turned in search of one of the precious water glasses and, spying one by the fireplace dismissively asked Taichi to pass it to him. I'm sure the whole thing would have been better if I was able to blame what happened on Taichi being drunk, but he wasn't. So it can only be blamed on Taichi being...Taichi. 

"Can you catch, Yama?" he asked, grinning wickedly. Yamato had just enough time to voice a confused 'What?' before Taichi promptly hurled the contents of the glass all over him. Dripping wet and spluttering assorted violent curses and insults, Yamato grabbed another water glass from the table beside Takeru and tipped it over Taichi's head. Naturally, a full blown fight ensued. It was nothing I hadn't seen before. I'd watched Taichi and Yamato fight a million times. Their fights could escalate from the tiniest things imaginable and were like summer squalls. They began unexpectedly and while they were ferocious while they lasted, they were over quickly, and dissolved into the brightest, freshest kind of sunshine. But here it felt different, somehow out of place. I can't really explain why. But everything that happened was so fast and furious that I didn't get a chance to work it out.

The odds were uneven because of Yamato's age advantage and the blows were vicious without the safety buffer of the deep, underlying friendship that the other Taichi and Yamato shared. They were struggling against one another bitterly, wrenching, tearing, tugging. Then all of a sudden they stopped as if by mutual agreement. They were pressed close, fingers still clutching at shirts and eyelashes still spiky with water. They were staring at one another so intently you could have thought that their pupils had become fused together by glass rods, like the ones we used sometimes in biology. Or that Yamato used while I watched. And then their lips were touching and it was straight off a movie screen. The room was staring in shock and everything but the music had fallen silent. They didn't seem to notice. I'm sure I must have had my mouth hanging open like an idiot but my mind had abruptly turned to mush. I didn't know what it was that I was supposed to be thinking. I suppose I should have been thinking that it was wrong, that there was no place for this event in the story that I had woven around myself. But I didn't think it. It never even occurred to me at the time, because nobody in their right mind could have looked at them then and there and thought that it was wrong. They fitted together like pieces of a puzzle. 

Then just as suddenly as it had started, it stopped. They broke apart with a movement that if it could have been heard would have sounded like shattering. Fingers jerked, eyes widened, breath came in pants and gasps. They were further apart now. Taichi was swallowing hard and Yamato's fingers were running automatically over his hair. And then Yamato was on his feet, was leaving the room and it took me too long to realise that I was supposed to follow him. It took me until after Ken had walked back into the room, smiling and holding a bowl of potato chips. It must have looked strange to him. The stereo was still playing aimlessly, but no one was moving. No one was even talking, everyone was just staring at Tai still kneeling in the middle of the room. Yamato was gone and I was scrambling for the door.

A/N: Nearly there…have a new idea in the works that I REALLY want to start, but I am going to make myself to finish this first. So hopefully that will be enough of an incentive to make me write! Next chapter of this will be out ASAP. 


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